


The A to Z's of You and Me

by cohenatwood



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, listen they are endgame, no one dies, the angst express will be in full working order though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-08-31 23:41:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8598421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cohenatwood/pseuds/cohenatwood
Summary: The day of Lexa and Clarke finalizing they're divorce, Lexa reflects on what went wrong in their relationship and wonders if she can pin point the moment it fell apart. Also if she can fix it in the end.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So I know i've been doing hella depressing fics lately. But this one isn't too bad. No one is dying or anything like that. Just a lot of angst. This chapter is just the prologue but each chapter will be a letter of the alphabet and a word pertaining to the letter will have meaning to Clarke and Lexa's relationship. Besides this chapter, every single one until the end is a flashback as Lexa is reflecting on their relationship.
> 
> I promise there will be a happy ending though!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this latest feat from me.

Lexa walks up the stairs to where she's been living the past six months. It's a nice apartment building in downtown Polis. The complete opposite of where she had been living six months ago. She carries her pumps in her hands and her briefcase filled with offending documents with her. She refused the elevator even though she's close to the top floor. She feels numb. She feels like she can't feel anything anymore and it's a scary thought. She hopes the stairs will kickstart her heart once more, because as of an hour ago, it died completely.

She knows how unprofessional she looks right now. A form-fitting pastel dress stained with another's makeup, old leather jacket hung over her shoulders, barefoot climbing dirty stairs. Her makeup slightly smudged from the few tears she let fall on her way home from the lawyer's office. If someone were to come into the stairwell they'd think she was coming home from a wild night out. In fact she wished that was why her appearance looked the way it did.

Ten years of marriage. Gone. Fourteen years of a relationship. Gone. And all with the stroke of a signature. 

Lexa finally makes it to her floor and unfortunately, the organ she wishes would restart decided to stay dormant once more. She pushes the door open with her shoulder and walks the carpeted floor towards her cold home. She stands in front of the numbers '723' and sets her briefcase down so she can rummage through her jacket pocket to fish out her keys. Feeling the metal object graze her palm, she latches on and pulls them out.

She inserts the keys and with a click she turns the knob and lets the door swing open. She gathers up her briefcase and walks into her apartment. She feels the cold hardwood hit her feet as she turns around to shut the door and lock it. She slides the chain for extra measure and turns around, taking in the place she will now permanently call home with fresh eyes. It's not too big. The minute you step in a small kitchen is to her left with an eatery attached to the wall. The living room in the open space. She has her flatscreen TV on a stand flush up against the right wall. The wall directly opposite of Lexa is three floor to ceiling windows, looking out into the city. Her chaise lounge on the left wall with a modern coffee table in front of it. Right where the couch begins is the break in the wall from the kitchen to the living room. That hallway holds her bedroom. Her lonely, cold bedroom she doesn't share. A closet only filled with her things. A bathroom with a single sink. One toothbrush, one hairbrush, one makeup bag. Singular. 

Her apartment nearly looks un-lived in. The only thing showing someone living there are her 5 year old's toys piled up next to the TV stand. The guest bedroom next to her master bedroom has sheets with spaceships on them and tiny clothes in the drawers and more toys. A rocket with a nightlight plugged in. The only reminder that she hasn't completely lost contact with her wife, er, ex-wife for all of eternity.

She moves over into the kitchen and sets her briefcase down on the counter as well as her shoes. She moves to her nearly empty fridge and takes out a beer bottle. She moves back over to the countertop and uses it to open her bottle, letting the cap fall freely to the floor.

She takes a long pull as she zones out a little. Staring at a fixed point in the the couch. She tastes the bitterness in the alcohol and wonders if it's not only the beer giving her that taste in her mouth. She sets the bottle on the counter top and moves over to her briefcase. She puts in the combination and tells herself she needs to switch it from her wedding date, before popping it open. She takes out the file that has all the agreements in it. Her child will stay with her on the weekends and most holidays now. Her wi- her ex-wife will get their home in the suburbs that Lexa had built with her own two hands. She will pay spousal support to her ex-wife every month until their shared child turns eighteen. Lexa gets to keep the lake cabin, boat and jet skis. Her ex-wife gets their timeshare to Whistler. She gets one thing, her ex-wife gets the other. Split down the middle. 

She looks at the citing: Irreconcilable Differences.

Lexa works her jaw from side to side as she stares at the words. She picks up the bottle of beer and brings it to her lips as she continues to stare at the words. What was exactly irreconcilable? What difference of opinion did they have? It all seems pointless and jumbled now. Lexa finishes off the beer and sets the bottle on the counter. She uses her other hand to push her briefcase down, shut. She sucks in her bottom lip and moves towards the windows. She takes a moment to look out at the bustling city. The sun is starting to sink and the stars will soon come out. Not that she can see them now, but she knows they'll always be present. Maybe that's some sort of sick metaphor for her own life now.

She grabs the remote sitting on the arm of the couch and presses the button so the blackout shades completely cover the wall of windows. She flips on the lamp next to the arm of the couch and now covered windows. She sits down on her couch and lets out a long sigh. She grabs the remote to the TV and flips it on. It comes to life, still on Nick Jr from when her son was here two days ago. She flips the TV off though, realizing she couldn't get her mind focused enough on the TV. She then hears her phone chime with a text message. She reaches into the pocket of her jacket and sees the name along with a few other names that have texted her.

**Anya           Now**

_Tough day. I'm happy to come by with pizza and be..._

**Raven         4:36**

_Just thought i'd check in with you and see how..._

**Lincoln       3:54**

_O is staying with her tonight, thought you sh..._

Lexa got the gist of the messages and didn't feel like unlocking her phone to reply. She tosses the phone on the cushion and starts drumming her fingers on her thighs. Their friends were now perpetually stuck in the middle for the rest of their lives. It made her feel guilty. Making innocent people feel like they have to pick sides. Lexa continues her ministrations on her thighs as she sighs. She then is startled slightly by her air conditioner kicking on. She doesn't really know what she's suppose to do now. Her son isn't here to distract her. Getting things in order for the lawyer was now a done deal. She didn't want any company. She didn't want to drink herself into oblivion. She had finished all of her work a day ago. Numbing herself with mindless movies and televisions shows didn't seem futile. She doesn't feel like crying. If she were being honest with herself, that was a character flaw her ex-wife saw in her. Not letting things out the way it should.

She's broken out of her reverie by the default tone of her phone laying face down on the cushion. Reflex makes her pick it up and she swallows when she sees the name flashed on the screen.

**Jake Griffin**

Lexa sighs and sets the phone on her thigh and doesn't even contemplate answering him. She watches as his name leaves her screen and the unanswered texts return in place, now with an added missed call. After about 2 minutes, a voicemail notification pops up. She figures she owes her father-in...rather her ex-father-in-law her ear. Even if it's a voicemail. For the first time all day she puts her thumb print on the circular button and watches as the phone unlocks and her text and calling apps just have numbers by them. She goes to her call log and goes to the voicemail. She hits play and decides to just put it on speaker, not really wanting to put in the energy of doing the simple task of putting the phone up to her ear.

_"Hey kiddo. I just wanted to check in with things. Mom and I went by the house and it was...you know, not good. Abby is gonna stay there for the evening I guess. Um, if you need me i'd be fine with driving into the city just so you know. Just because things are over doesn't mean we're gonna stop seeing each other. You're just as much as my daughter as Clarke. Anyways, if you want to talk or just hang out shoot me a text or give me a call. I'll be home just watching baseball so if you want to join you can. Talk to you later Lex, love you. Bye."_

Lexa can't fight the slight smirk hearing his voice. He always had that effect on her. Even when she was a troublemaker teenager acting out. One stern lecture from him and she'd be on the straight and narrow for a couple weeks at least. A lot more than what her case workers, teachers, and police officers were able to do. She moves her index finger to the button at the top of her phone and clicks it, making the screen go dark once more.  She sits for a moment, just listening to the roaring of the air conditioner and her even breaths. She finally decides she doesn't have the energy to sit upright anymore and stands. She moves in-between the couch and coffee table towards her bedroom. She sees her pumps still on the kitchen counter but decides to just leave them. She walks to her master bedroom and doesn't even flip on the light. Just like in the living room, when facing her queen sized bed, the left wall is floor to ceiling windows. The lights of the city are able to guide her to her bed. She doesn't even shrug off her old leather jacket or strip out of the pastel dress before she flops down on the bed. She stares at the ceiling as she watches the light from the sun sinking low.

She's numb. She can't feel anything anymore. She hopes by tomorrow morning her heart will kickstart again.

She continues to stare up at the ceiling as her mind drifts...


	2. A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ap·a·thy  
> ˈapəTHē  
> noun  
> lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern.

Lexa leans back in her chair as she kicks her feet up onto her desk. She looks over at the clock on the wall, noticing she's only been in detention for four minutes. Senior year is clearly going off with a bang already. She runs a hand through her wild brunette hair and sighs. She then reaches into her leather jacket's pocket for her MP3 player, she may or may not have stolen from her last group home, and unwinds the earbuds. The second they are untangled the door to the stiff classroom opens. Principle Kane in his suit and red tie has his hand on another student's shoulder, lightly guiding them into the classroom. _Great_. Lexa thinks. If she's going to spend two and a half hours in detention, she'd rather do it alone. She sees the girl make her way past the threshold of the doorway and once she realizes who it is, smirks.

"Oh how the mighty have fallen. And on the first day of senior year? What'd you do Clarke Griffin, not raise enough money to help us less fortunate folks?" Lexa tilts her head, giving the blonde haired beauty her best shit eating grin and watches her roll her eyes.

"Woods." Kane's voice has a warning tone to it. Lexa holds up her hands in defense as Clarke makes her way to the desk next to her. She flops down and ignores Lexa's stare. Lexa takes in Clarke's appearance. She's dressed in tight jeans and her school cheerleading t-shirt. Her hair is in a pony-tail that has the school colors, gold and blue, wrapped over the hairband, covering it. Her nails are also painted in the school's colors. She has sun kissed skin from the summer vacation and her pink lips are smooth from lip balm. 

"Alright, two and a half hours starts now. Woods, as you know, I don't care what you work on, just as long as you're not talking. I'll let you guys have a bathroom break in about an hour. And Woods, keep your music down for once? Also take your feet off the desk." Principle Kane gives Lexa a pointed look. Lexa just gives him a stoic look, challenging him. She can see Clarke in her peripheral view looking between the two of them. Kane breaks the stare-down by shaking his head and sitting down at the teacher's desk. Lexa keeps her feet propped on the desk, clearly having won that challenge. She catches Clarke's eyes for a second until Clarke looks away. She turns her attention to her notebook and an already opened book for Organic Chemistry.

Lexa takes her earbuds and puts them in her ears. She grabs the MP3 player and begins searching for a song. A specific song. She makes sure her volume is turned all the way up and finally finds the song. The Smashing Pumpkin's To Shelia begins playing. She keeps her eyes forward but can see clear as day when Clarke realizes what she's listening to. Clarke stiffens and her writing ceases for a moment. Lexa closes her eyes and leans back in her chair, ignoring the blonde's eyes on her. She can feel the cerulean eyes piercing into the side of her skull. Lexa takes it up a notch and begins tapping the beat lightly on her desk with her index and middle fingers. A small smile on her lips as she knows she's already besting the blonde. The song ends and Lexa decides to open her own verdant eyes. She keeps her smile on her face as she turns to look at Clarke. Her face is pale and she's clenching her jaw. Her eyes are on fire as she locks them with Lexa's. Lexa's smile falters a little, not realizing her playing the song would piss her off this much. Clarke turns away from her in a huff and goes back to her notes in Organic Chemistry. Lexa watches her and licks her lips, her smile not on her face anymore.

She finally tears her eyes away from the angry cheerleader and stares at her desk as Radiohead begins playing in her ears. Before she knows it, Kane is tapping on her desk to signal that an hour has passed and it was time for the ten minute bathroom break. She takes out her earbuds and glances over and sees Clarke getting out of her seat and stretching her back. She watches as her cheerleading t-shirt rises up slightly. She shakes herself out of her reverie and deposits her MP3 player in her jacket pocket and stands up, feeling Clarke right behind her.

"Ten minutes girls. If you're not back i'll be looking for you and you'll have to stay another thirty minutes." Principal Kane calls out to them. Lexa waves him off as she exits the room. She feels Clarke hot on her tail and finds the disabled bathroom that locks is empty. It's after school anyways, no one should be in there.

Lexa opens the bathroom and steps in, she lets the door go and turns to walk over to the sink. Right before the door clicks it swings open and in walks a fiery blonde. She pushes the door closed and locks it.

"You are so fucking infuriating, you know that?!" Clarke yells out. Lexa pretends to ignore her by fixing her hair in the mirror. She then reaches into her jean pocket and pulls out her lip balm and begins smoothing her full lips over with it.

"I don't know why you're mad." Lexa says with indifference. She hears Clarke scoff.

"Of course you don't! You don't care about anything." Clarke states. Lexa clenches her jaw. Feeling her resolve breaking a little at Clarke's comment. She lets it go though and shrugs her shoulders.

"It's just a song Clarke. No big deal." Lexa states, finally glancing over at Clarke with a cocked eyebrow and stoic face. Clarke's face softens from being angry.

"You and I both know it's not just a song." Clarke whispers. Lexa turns away, to look back in the mirror at her appearance. She doesn't actually care about her appearance but it's giving her something to do instead of talking to Clarke about what she inevitably wants to talk about.

"Well, to the rest of the world, it's just a song." Lexa states firmly, she then glances at her watch, "Time to go." With that she turns back around and walks past Clarke and unlocks the bathroom door. She hears her sigh and listens as her footsteps trail behind her, all the way back to the classroom where detention is being held. Lexa doesn't spare Kane a glance as she enters and sits in the desk she was previously occupying. She waits for Clarke to start gathering up her things to move to a different desk but she doesn't. She sits down and reopens her Organic Chemistry textbook and notebook.

Lexa pulls out her MP3 player once again and lets the music fill her ears as she lays her arms across her desk and rests her head on her arms, facing away from Clarke. After awhile Lexa is lulled to a light nap. That is until she feels a piece of paper being slid underneath her arm she is laying on. Her music having stopped. She sits up slowly and looks at the clock. Ten minutes left of detention. She then looks over at Clarke who keeps her eyes focused on her notebook. She looks down and sees the folded up piece of paper sitting haphazardly on her desk. She grabs it tentatively and unfolds it, knowing exactly who it's from.

_11:00, tonight._

Lexa doesn't glance over at the author of the note and just leaves it on her desk.

"You weren't disruptive to me today Woods, I guess to reward you i'll let you both go early." Kane's voice breaks through the silence. Clarke starts packing up her things while continuously glancing over at Lexa and the note she leaves on the desk. Clarke hangs around for a moment, clearly trying to wait for Lexa, although Kane doesn't seem none the wiser to it. Lexa stands and swings her backpack over her shoulder. She starts heading towards the door where Clarke is kind of lingering until Kane speaks once more.

"Lexa can you hang back for just a moment please. Miss Griffin, I hope I don't see you in here again this year." Principal Kane says pointedly to Clarke. Clarke nods and gives Lexa an undecipherable look and walks away. Lexa turns around and sighs, stalking over to the teacher's desk.

"What's up?" Lexa asks in the most unenthused voice. Kane shakes his head.

"Listen, I get it Lexa. You're too smart for this place. You always have been and you're bored. You should have been taking college classes years ago, but telling a teacher to shove a book up her- you know, is not going to cut it this year. It's your last year here, pretending like you don't care about anything or consequences is not the way to go here. You're eighteen now. The path you've been going down will have severe consequences now. I don't want to see you going to jail kid, or worse. Just, do me a favor and think before you speak from now on." Principal Kane softens his eyes at her. Lexa knows he means well, but can't help but think this guy doesn't really give a shit. He just doesn't want any incidents happening at his school.

"Alright Kane, I guess i'll think for an extra second before I open my mouth." Lexa smirks. Kane shakes his head, clearly disappointed in her answer. Her waves her off to leave.

//

Lexa gives a wink to the security guard at the gate as he gives her a smirk. It's about 11:10 at night and Lexa makes her way through the expensive neighborhood. She turns down Maple drive and sees the familiar house in the distance. She notices both cars are not in the driveway. Although the blue Ford Escape is planted in its usual spot by the sidewalk. She also notices all the lights are off. She gets closer and looks up at one of the windows in the front of the house. She can see the unmistakable glow of a computer screen in the darken room. Lexa walks over to the tree that has a branch by the garage roof that is attached to the house. She climbs up with ease, leaping off the thick branch, silently thudding onto the roof. Years and years of sneaking out of group homes and foster homes paying off at this moment. 

She walks silently on the roof until she reaches the window she had wanted. The window is open completely and she watches as the cheerleader is laying on her stomach, facing away from the window and she types on her computer. She's dressed in a tank top that has slightly ridden up and sleep shorts. Her hair cascading down her back. Still all the lights are off. Lexa decides to alert her of her presence by tapping on the window pane. The blonde whips around and relaxes at the sight of Lexa.

"Come on." She gestures for Lexa to climb in from the window. Lexa positions herself and jumps through the window, once again landing silently on the carpeted floor. Clarke moves her laptop on the side of her king size bed and sits up. Lexa just sort of stands awkwardly, not really knowing what Clarke wants from her right now. It's then Clarke stands from the bed and walks towards Lexa. Clarke stares into Lexa's emerald eyes in a predatory manner. Before Lexa knows what's happening, Clarke's lips are on hers, her hand grabbing the back of Lexa's neck to pull her closer. It's not long before Clarke is seeking entrance into Lexa's mouth with her tongue. Lexa parts her lips and feels Clarke's tongue meet hers in a frenzy. They massage each other's tongues, tasting one another. It ignites Lexa's body on fire. It's not like this is the first time Clarke's tongue has been on hers, but it still surprises her every time.

Lexa breaks the kiss when she feels her body temperature start to rise. She instantly takes off her leather jacket and tosses it to the floor, leaving her in her dark skinny jeans and white Hanes t-shirt. Clarke starts attaching her lips to Lexa's neck as Lexa puts her hands on Clarke's hips. She guides her towards her bed, Clarke never breaking contact with Lexa's pulse point. A ritualistic suck, bite, soothe. They make it to the bed and Lexa lightly pushes Clarke back so her back lays on the bed, it takes less than a millisecond for Lexa to be on top of her, putting her tongue back into Clarke's mouth.

The two make out for quite awhile until Lexa feels Clarke go underneath her shirt, grazing the skin on her back. Lexa positions her leg in-between Clarke's thighs to get leverage to sit up a little. She hears a breathy moan come from Clarke at the pressure and Lexa fluidly takes off her shirt. Her black bra the only thing covering her from the waist up. She moves back down to kiss Clarke as she feels Clarke start to feel her covered breasts. Lexa moans slightly in Clarke's mouth at the contact. She begins to move her hand up Clarke's tank top and realizes she's not wearing a bra. The second her fingers come in contact with Clarke's bare breast, Clarke whimpers in her mouth. Lexa takes her mouth off of Clarke's and moves to her neck, repeating the action on her pulse point that Clarke had been doing earlier. She hears Clarke moan even louder as she begins massaging her breasts with one hand and massaging the back of her head with her other.

After a few minutes, Clarke makes Lexa stop so she can get rid of her own shirt while Lexa undos her bra. Clarke scoots further back on her bed so her head hits the pillows. Lexa watches her for a moment, the computer screen on the other end having gone dark awhile ago. The moonlight being the only light source. Clarke's skin is bathed in it and for a second Lexa feels her heart beating with something other than lust. She shakes those thoughts away and remembers the task at hand.

"When are your parents coming back?" Lexa questions in a breathy tone.

"Mom's overnight, Dad's out of town for the week." Clarke states. Lexa nods and begins moving back towards Clarke. She leans her body down and begins kissing Clarke long and slow. She then moves from Clarke's lips down to her throat, licking and sucking lightly before moving further down, repeating the action. She gets to her breasts and sucks lightly on each nipple, adding a little nip at the end. Clarke has rooted her hand in Lexa's hair, massaging her scalp as she continues moaning. Lexa is satisfied with the attention she gave to her breasts when she looks and sees the already purple marks forming. She moves down and licks her torso, giving kisses and sucking. She moves over to her hip bone and nips at it. She moves her hands towards the side of Clarke, hooking her fingers in the waistband. She stops and gives Clarke a smirk, watching as Clarke's chest heaves up and down, anticipating what was to come.

"Hurry up." Clarke says breathily. Lexa's smirk grows and she pulls down the sleep shorts along with Clarke's underwear.

//

Clarke is laying on Lexa's chest, still breathing heavily as Lexa has her arm wrapped around her. She brings her hand up that was resting on Clarke's back and begins playing with the blonde's hair as Clarke snuggles further into Lexa. Underneath the duvet Clarke begins tracing patterns on Lexa's toned stomach.

"I saw you at the pool last week." Clarke husks. Lexa furrows her brow not even remotely sure what being at the public pool had to do with anything.

"Okay?" Lexa says as a question. 

"You never told me you take the kids from your group home there and teach them how to swim." Clarke says, Lexa can feel her smile. Lexa stiffens a little.

"It's whatever." Lexa shrugs off. Clarke shifts and lifts her head to look at Lexa, her blue eyes catching the moonlight just right. She looks at her seriously.

"Why do you do that?" She whispers.

"Do what?" Lexa challenges.

"Act like you don't care. Why don't you let people see the good in you?" Clarke challenges right back. Lexa swallows but doesn't give her an answer. The two stare at one another for a beat until Clarke shakes her head and lays back down on Lexa's chest, going back to tracing patterns on her stomach.

Lexa continues playing with Clarke's hair and massaging her scalp, not really sure how to answer Clarke's question. She guesses it boils down to how she's grown up so far and it being a character flaw as well. She grew up with no parents, in and out of group homes and foster homes since she was a baby. She learned at a young age that the world doesn't owe you anything, and that it's cruel. She's gone from abusive homes, both physically and emotionally. She's hopped around from neglectful home after neglectful home. She's been in nice homes too, people who promised to adopt her but one thing or another happened and it fell through. She's learned not to get her hopes up. Not to care. Especially now that she's eighteen. She has one more month in her group home before they kick her out, left to the streets. Another child failed by the system. It's easier to be hardened by it all, because then peoples expectations of you are low and you don't have to disappoint.

"Because when people see good, they start to expect you to always be like that. And...I don't want to have to live up to anyone's expectations." Lexa whispers. It's probably the most personal thing she's ever told Clarke. The two had started their...something in July. Clarke had gone to a party on the eastern side of town, where Lexa lived. It's not the best neighborhood and she's still unclear as to what Clarke Griffin, most popular and loved girl in school, was doing there. Somehow they ended up kissing in an alcohol fueled haze. From there Clarke was persistent, something Lexa never understood why. She was the poor kid who never had a family, that was too smart for her own good which caused her to get into trouble. Somehow, Clarke saw something in her that she liked. But Lexa being Lexa, told her it had to be just sex, nothing else. Clarke agreed but as time has gone on, the lines are starting to get a little blurry.

"I was mad because I want that song to just be ours. I know you might not want to hear this...but that song is special to me, because of you." Clarke whispers back. Lexa takes a long deep breath and lets it out slowly. She's too exhausted to fight with her about blurry lines so she lets it go.

"At the risk of blurring some more lines here, is it okay if I just sleep here for tonight?" Lexa asks carefully. She feels Clarke smile and nod her head. Clarke's excitement somehow radiating through Lexa, making a warmth spread through her. A sense of peace.

She pushes the thoughts and feelings away though and adjusts herself in Clarke's pillows and begins to feel sleep take over.


	3. B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> be·guile  
> bəˈɡīl/  
> verb  
> charm or enchant (someone), sometimes in a deceptive way.

Lexa walks down the hall of the old High School. Everyone is excited and abuzz over it being the last day before winter break. She looks at the naive students with their 'ugly' Christmas sweaters and giving each other presents. Singing different Christmas carols and talking about their plans with their respective family members. Lexa has become a master at blocking all of them out. She's thankful she's only got one more semester with these stupid kids. She pulls her jacket a little closer to herself and readjusts her backpack as she swims through the horde of students to get to her locker. As she walks, she spots the blonde cheerleader in her maroon sweater and posse of popular kids. She's leaning up against the lockers talking with her best friend Octavia Blake while the rest of her group talk amongst themselves. She notices Finn Collins has his arm around the blonde's shoulders while talking with Octavia's half brother Bellamy. _That didn't take long,_ Lexa thinks. 

Lexa and Clarke had continued their...whatever in secret for months. That was until Lexa had opened up a lot more than she wanted to and was faced with possibly having more than just lustful feelings towards the cheerleader. Two weeks ago she broke it off with Clarke, making the blonde angry and confused. Since, Lexa hasn't really spared her a glance, but can always feel those blue eyes on her while she walks past her. Today was no different. Lexa finally pushes past a group of juniors who scurry away when they see who they're blocking and spots the only two people she finds decent in this god forsaken High School. She walks up to the dingy blue locker and begins putting in her combination while her two friends continue on with their conversation.

"I say we go to Vinny's on Christmas Eve. Good booze and I hear he's going to have better things to do since his drug mules brought him in a shit ton of money this year." The dark haired Latina states. Lexa has known Raven since she was about ten. They were both placed in the same group home at the time and at first clashed heads but eventually bonded over their love of science. Not long after that, Raven's alcoholic mother got custody back of Raven but they continued being friends, especially since Raven's mother has yet to kick the habit. Raven would usually run away to find Lexa in whatever new home she was in when things got complicated at home. Probably cause Lexa knew not to question Raven about her mother and would distract her with new science studies she had found.

"Sounds good to me. What about you Lex? You game?" The dirty blonde Asian woman asks. Lexa has known Anya a little longer than Raven. Meeting Anya in a foster home at eight years old. Similar situation but Anya, like Lexa, never had parents or relatives so she hopped around from home to home like Lexa. Although at the moment she's in the most stable home she's ever been in. The two people running it have actually let Anya stay long after she turned eighteen. Lexa on the other hand was kicked out not too long after turning eighteen. Now she lives in a shitty studio apartment that doesn't even have a fridge. 

"Yeah whatever." Lexa shrugs. She starts rummaging through her locker, looking for her packet of work she had already finished for next semester's Organic Chemistry. Lexa got her IQ tested back in Freshman year and it turns out, the girl is technically a certified genius. Because of this, she forces her teachers to give her all of the work for the semester so she can finish it within a day and not have to worry about it or go to class. Unfortunately for her, after barely attending Sophomore year, her teachers started making her still come to class for a participation credit, usually making it over half of her grade. Her boredom mixed in with her annoyance at her peers causes her to act out quite a bit in class. So usually she's stuck after school in detention. Clarke hasn't been back there since the first day of school though. Lexa still has no idea how she got detention.

"Princess Peach keeps staring at you." Raven leans into Lexa's ear to whisper. Lexa rolls her eyes. Her friends know about her fling with the blonde cheerleader and slightly didn't believe her at first. That is, until Raven had overheard Octavia Blake talking to Clarke about it. Now they love to bring it up any chance they get.

"It's a free country." Lexa states. Anya scoffs beside her. Lexa turns to face her, "What? Out with it." 

Anya shrugs, "I still just don't get what a straight rich girl like her wanted from you. No offense, but I also don't see why you even entertained it. She's a stuck up prissy bitch who was probably just using the poor kid for her own experiment before college. How the fuck are you just fine with that?"

"Wow An, tell us how you really feel." Raven deadpans. Lexa takes a deep breath and slams her locker shut, about had it with Anya's observations of her's and Clarke's, thing. Lexa whips around and gives Anya the look she usually reserves for abusive foster parents that she's about to hit. Anya takes a step back, clearly caught off guard at Lexa's demeanor. Even Raven attempts to put a hand on her shoulder but Lexa just shrugs her off.

"First of all, she's not fucking straight. She's been out as bisexual since Freshman year dumbass. Second of all, she's not that bad, she's actually nice. Third of all, it wasn't a freaking experiment, we were just having some fun and now it's done and i'm cool with it. Just fucking let it go. Both of you." Lexa looks between both Anya and Raven pointedly, a little taken aback that Lexa defended Clarke for the first time.

"Alright, killer. It's dropped." Raven says as Anya nods in agreement. Lexa nods as well and picks up her backpack off the ground to swing it over her shoulder while hanging onto her Organic Chem file.

"So what happened at your apartment complex last night? I saw a bunch of cops swarming it." Anya switches the subject, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably. Lexa shrugs her shoulders.

"Drug dealers. The usual." Lexa states. The bell rings and the three part without saying goodbye. Lexa starts heading to her Chem lab and is forced to walk by Clarke once more and can see her following Lexa in her peripheral view. She makes it into the class and rushes over to Mrs. Smith's desk and silently drops the file on her desk. She looks up and gives Lexa a smile and gestures for Lexa to go ahead and take a seat at her lab table. Lexa moves towards the back and puts her backpack up on the large lab table and hops up onto the stool. She reaches into her backpack and pulls out a book she had found hidden in her studio apartment, probably left by the previous tenant. She feels the blonde's eyes on her as she takes her seat at the lab table near the front next to her friend Monty Green. She ignores the piercing gaze and tries to concentrate on the words of the tattered book. Mrs. Smith addresses the rest of the class to start their final and that if everyone finishes early, she'd put on one of those cheesy Christmas movies.

Not a long time passes when everyone in the class is finished with their final. Lexa isn't that surprised, as this period was probably the smartest for Mrs. Smith. She then turns on some cheesy black and white Christmas movie as everyone whispers amongst themselves. After a little bit, Lexa can hear footsteps slowly approaching her. When they stop in front of her, Lexa looks up and is a little surprised to see Monty Green standing nervously in front of her. Lexa can't help but glance quickly over at Clarke who is trying her best to act like she isn't watching.

"Uh, hh-hi Lexa." Monty stutters. Lexa watches as he nervously plays with a piece of paper in his hands. She looks at him with her normal stoicism.

"Green." Lexa states. He bites his lip and shifts on his feet.

"I was just-I mean...I was just uh, well you see, you're incredibly smart. And uh, well I was wondering, well I wanted to ask-" Monty rambles and trips over his words. Lexa can't help but smirk at how nervous he is just to ask her a simple question.

"Contrary to popular belief, Green, i'm not the Boogeyman. Go ahead and ask your question, worse i'll do is say no." Lexa tries to reassure, feeling a little bad at how worked up Monty is getting just because he wants to ask her a question.

"Okay, i'm sorry. You're just really intimidating. Um, okay my question. Well i-i've been working on this equation for a couple months now for an artificial apple i'm testing and it's not working no matter which way I try. I-I just thought maybe if I had a fresh pair of eyes i'd be able to see what i'm doing wrong. It also helps that you're like a genius, so..." He trails off. Lexa studies him for a minute, trying to see if this isn't just a plan of Clarke's to get Lexa to talk to her. Monty moves his eyes away from Lexa, clearly still terrified of Lexa and her gaze. She finally sets her book down and gestures with her hand for Monty to give her his paper. His hand shakes as he hands her his paper but Lexa doesn't comment on it. She looks over the equation he's made and studies it. Within thirty-seconds she knows what he's doing wrong.

"Come around this way and let me show you what you're doing wrong." Lexa tells him, gesturing for him to come stand next to her. He slowly moves to stand next to Lexa as she looks through her backpack for a pen. He waits patiently for her until she finds a blue pen. She points to a number and circles it for him. She glances over at him and she can tell he's more relaxed now, furrowing his brow. 

"What's wrong with that?" Monty asks, no hesitation laced in his voice anymore. Lexa gives him a genuine smile at his confusion.

"It's to the 6th power, in order for it to work out perfectly, it's gotta be to the 8th power." Lexa points out. Monty looks harder at the paper then his mouth falls agape slightly. Lexa takes it a step further and rewrites the equation with the correct power. She then works it out for him and finally looks back over at him and he has an amazed smile on his face. He locks eyes with her and his grin grows.

"Man, i've been working on that in my spare time for the past two months. I didn't know it was that simple." He shakes his head. Lexa chuckles a little and Monty looks surprised at her. She then claps her hand on his back and shakes his body a little.

"It's a simple mistake, don't worry about it. Like I said Green, i'm not the Boogeyman, so if there's anything else that confuses you about your project, let me know and i'll be happy to take a look for you." She tells him. Monty looks a little shocked at Lexa's proposition. He then smiles and nods his head. Lexa picks up the piece of paper and hands it back to Monty, hoping he gets the hint that he doesn't need to stand next to her anymore. He takes it and gives her another smile before walking away. Lexa watches him and notices for the first time that Clarke had watched their entire exchange, not even trying to hide it. She sees the blonde with a smirk on her face as she locks eyes with Lexa. Lexa's previous smile she had falls back into stoicism and she breaks contact with the curious cerulean eyes. She picks up her book and refuses to look in her direction, even when she hears the blonde rasp out to Monty, 'I told you she's not bad people'.

//

Lexa walks down the darken snowy street. She pulls her light coat a little tighter around herself as a biting breeze picks up. She had decided to ditch the Christmas Eve party at notorious drug dealer Vinny's house. Honestly, she wasn't really into that scene. She really just wanted somewhere warm to go since her studio apartment's heating broke over a week ago. But things began to get rowdier as more people got drunk and high. Raven and Anya had called it a night and went back to their respective homes, barely having had a drink. It was unspoken between the three of them that, in reality, they didn't want to celebrate the holidays no matter how much they try to psyche themselves up with a party. They all usually end up leaving twenty minutes in around this time of year. 

She slips a little, her worn high-top black vans not providing the correct traction she needs in the snow. She gets her balance though and continues walking, not really knowing where she's headed. She passes an alley, not really thinking anything of it, until she hears the gravely voice call out to her.

"Woods." Johnny Maack calls out to her. Lexa whips around and sure enough, Maack walks out of the shadows of the alley in all his glory. His acne scars on his cheeks redder than normal, as he gives Lexa his signature devilish grin. Lexa had spent a year in a group home with the guy and to say they clashed heads would be an understatement. One of their fights escalated to the point of Lexa swinging a metal baseball bat at his head, lucky for him he ducked in time. Seeing him now brings out a frustration Lexa had long buried. She lets out a breath and and just nods her head up at the young man.

"Maack." She states. When he doesn't move from his spot Lexa turns away from him and begins walking down the street. She keeps her normal pace, not really seeing the danger in running into Maack. He was a punk kid that was in a fucked up situation just like Lexa and would let his anger get the best of him. Lexa just so happened to be the only one not afraid to talk back to him and challenge him. She hears his footsteps approaching behind her though, but doesn't move to pick up her pace. She's never been afraid of the guy, she's not starting now.

"You know Woods. Before I got kicked out of the group home, I had an MP3 player I payed good money for. I've never been able to find it though." Maack is walking side by side with her now. Lexa doesn't give away anything though. She keeps her eyes forward and continues down the street.

"That sucks." Lexa shrugs, pursing her lips in indifference. Maack reaches out and grabs ahold of Lexa's arm to stop her walking. He squeezes quite forcefully and makes her turn to face him. His yellowish eyes have a glint in them. Something Lexa isn't able to describe. She keeps her indifference to him though and holds her ground. Even going so much as to cock an amused eyebrow at him.

"You see Woods. I know you took it. Don't think I haven't seen you at the old boxing gym with my headphones in hitting a punching bag. So, in the spirit of the holidays, why don't you tell me the truth." He states. Lexa doesn't break though, just continues to challenge him with her verdant eyes. She can tell his resolve is faltering though the longer she doesn't react whatsoever to him. She watches as the anger begins to flare up in him the longer she doesn't give him an answer. The grip on her forearm increasing as each second passes. Lexa stands firm though, refusing to give this low life what he wants. A fight.

If Lexa hadn't been so caught up in staring ahead while walking. If Lexa hadn't been so caught up in just pressing on and ignoring the young man. If Lexa hadn't basically challenged him to a staring contest. If Lexa had left Vinny's two minutes later or two minutes earlier. If she had just opted to stay in her freezing studio, wrapped in blankets. If she had turned down Morris St. instead of 8th St. So many if's she could have done. But instead she didn't and now she is in her latest predicament. 

She should have noticed the rock in his hand that was not gripping onto her forearm. She should have seen the moment he clenched his jaw and got up his courage to strike. She should have brought her hand up to stop the second blow on the side of her head. She should have curled in on herself as he continued to kick her in the ribs and stomach. She should have landed a better punch on his jaw. She should have seen the glint of the pocket knife as he pulled it from his back pocket. She should have screamed loud enough when the knife went into her side.

The problem was everything became blurry after that initial blow. He knocked her off balance. Her instincts were clouded after the first blow. She had no clue which way was up and which way was down. By the time her vision cleared and she was able to think clearly, he had fled. Lexa sits up slowly and looks down at the bloody snow. She brings her hand up to her forehead and smears the running blood, and attempts to clear it from her eyes. She feels the sting in her abdomen and lifts up her long sleeved shirt, the cold biting her bloodied and already bruising skin. She looks at where he had stabbed her and knows right away it's not fatal at all, she just need to sew it up. She attempts to stand up and realizes her wrist is broken. She looks at the bone sticking out, almost breaking through the skin. She's not quite sure when in that exchange it happened.

She stands up wobbly and begins walking. Well, more like limping and hunched over, trying to keep pressure on the non-fatal wound in her abdomen. Before she knows it, she's across town and limping towards the expensive gate. It's open, no security guard yet do to people wanting to drive around the mansions with their professional Christmas lights. She's not sure what pull has brought her this way but her entire body is burning and her hand is bloody and she feels like she might be on the verge of passing out. For an unexplainable reason, she just wants the comfort of a certain blonde cheerleader who has done nothing but be kind to her. Who has challenged her. Who has opened up to her without prompting. Who sees behind the façade Lexa tries so hard to put up.

She's in front of the beautiful house decorated in Christmas lights. She doesn't want to interrupt the Griffin families Christmas Eve and decides she'll climb up the tree and hope Clarke left her window unlocked. She moves over to the tree and realizes there's no way in hell she'll be able to climb up it with a bleeding abdomen and snapped wrist. She leans against the tree.

"Fuck." She mutters under her breath. It starts to snow and she looks down and sees the blood dripping into the pristine powder. She takes a deep breath and begins walking from the yard to the walkway. She decides to try and hide the abdomen wound and will try to score some needle and thread and will just sew it up in their bathroom. She has no insurance and there's no way in hell she's going to the ER. She takes her jacket and hides the wound while keeping the non-broken wrist inside, pressing down on the hole, hoping it doesn't drip in the very nice home. She makes it up the porch and takes a deep breath. She then rings the doorbell and hears its echo.

It takes a second but soon the door swings open. A tall man with dirty blonde medium length hair, and very familiar blue eyes answers. He has a smile on his face but it drops in concern when he sees Lexa's appearance. Lexa musters up a smile herself but tastes the blood still dripping from her forehead.

"Is uh is Clarke here?" Lexa asks, the man looks surprised and just shakes his head. Lexa's demeanor drops and starts to turn around. "Sorry, i'll just be going then." Lexa says as she begins to limp off the porch. She hears the man chuckle.

"No, she's here. I was shaking my head at the fact that you show up here all bloodied and just ask for Clarke like it's the most normal thing in the world. Like you guys are just going to have a conversation and wish each other Merry Christmas. Come inside, my wife is here and she can help clean you up." The man says. Lexa turns around and for some reason is starting to feel nervous.

"No, it's okay Mr. Griffin. I-I think I made a mistake coming here." Lexa tries. Mr. Griffin shakes his head and steps out onto the porch and puts an arm around Lexa's shoulders to guide her into the home.

"Now, first of all, call me Jake. Second of all, if Clarke knew I let Lexa Woods leave our house looking like you do, she'd have my head." Jake says. Lexa furrows her brow, unsure how the hell he knows who she is. She doesn't question him though and just lets him guide her into the home. They step into the entryway and he begins to guide her to the living room, it's empty and Jake helps set her down on the couch. When she sits, she winces at her abdomen wound being pinched. Jake notices.

"Hang tight here, kiddo. Let me get Abby." He says, he gives her a reassuring smile and walks out of the living room. Lexa tries to clear more of her forehead blood from her eyes so she can see clearly. She sinks back into the couch, still trying to keep pressure on her stomach. Before long Abby is coming into the living room with a worried expression with Jake behind her. She sits down next to Lexa on the couch and warmly moves some of her bloodied pieces of hair from her face to study it.

"Where are your injuries?" She asks in a warm tone. Lexa licks her lips and tries to think back to all the blows. 

"Uh, my wrist here is definitely broke, um my head...obviously. My ribs." Lexa tells her, Abby looks at Jake and the two exchange a look, soon Jake is walking out of the living room. Abby then turns back to Lexa.

"Jake's going to get my medic bag. Are you sure those are all your injuries?" She asks. Something about Abby's tone makes Lexa think she already knows Lexa is omitting an injury. Lexa sighs and moves her jacket out of the way, showing her hand covered in blood, still holding onto the knife wound. She watches Abby clench her jaw and she pats Lexa's thigh reassuringly.

"We might need to call you an ambulance. Get you to an ER for some X-rays." Lexa pales at that and begins shaking her head.

"No. No it's just a flesh wound. It didn't hit anything vital, trust me. I just need some superglue or needle and thread to close it up." Lexa pleads with her. Abby sighs and softens. 

"Clarke did say you were incredibly smart." Abby states aloud. Lexa furrows her brow once more, not really sure why Clarke would tell her mother something like that. Hell even talk about her with her own mother. Jake comes in finally, carrying a very large medic bag and sets it on the coffee table. Abby moves towards the coffee table as Jake starts guiding Lexa to lay down on the couch.

"I'll get Clarke from her room when you get a little more cleaned up. Don't want her having a meltdown." Jake chuckles. Lexa can't help but smirk at him. Abby begins cleaning her head wound first, sewing it up and putting a bandaid over it. She then grabs her flashlight and begins shining it in Lexa's eyes, before nodding to herself. She reaches into her bag and takes out a wrap and splint and gently grabs Lexa's snapped wrist.

"This is going to sting. I have to set this and put it in a splint, but you do need to go somewhere and get this casted in the next couple days. It's a bad break." Abby tells her sternly. Jake then hands one of the couch pillows to her so she can bite down. Lexa takes the corner into her mouth and nods her consent to Abby. She quickly sets the break and Lexa think she might pass out. Abby must notice as well because she orders Jake to go get some water and after wrapping her wrist, she begins just stroking her hair to soothe her. Jake returns and helps lift Lexa's head to get her to take a sip of water. After that, Abby moves to Lexa's knife wound. She helps Lexa take off her light jacket and lifts her drenched long sleeve t-shirt. She probes and studies the wound and nods.

"You're right, it looks worse than it actually is. Didn't hit any organs. You got lucky." Abby smiles at her and reaches for more of the thread to stitch it up.

"First time for everything I guess." Lexa mutters. Jake must have heard her and he gives her a light chuckle and a shake of the head.

"I'm gonna go get Clarke. She'd kill us if we just sat down here helping you and she's been up in her room this whole time." Jake states. Abby nods her head, not looking at her husband and he leaves the living room. Lexa winces a little as the needle comes in contact with her skin and pierces it. Abby gives her an apologetic smile and continues with her task. Not long after Jake had left, Abby and Lexa both hear a loud 'What!' come from upstairs, followed by frantic footsteps rushing down the stairs. Before Lexa knows it, Clarke is standing with wide eyes staring at Lexa's abdomen. Abby looks up and can also see the concern in her daughters eyes.

"She's gonna be alright. Just needs rest once I get her ribs set. Why don't you go get her a clean t-shirt?" Abby suggests, Clarke just stands there, eyes not moving from the knife wound. Her mouth is agape.

"Clarke." Lexa calls out to her. Clarke finally snaps her eyes up to meet Lexa's. Her eyes soften and she clenches her jaw. She leaves the room then and Abby goes back to stitching the wound. She finishes then grabs a lot of wraps and gestures for Lexa to try and sit up. She begins setting her ribs, wrapping them snuggly. Clarke comes back with a t-shirt that Lexa has seen her wear many times when sneaking through her window. Clarke moves closer and waits patiently for Abby to finish with Lexa's ribs. Once she's done, both Clarke and Abby help take off her bloody shirt and put on the new white one. It's a little big but very comfortable. Lexa then is hit with the scent of Clarke and thinks she might become intoxicated just from it. Her wounds start to throb a little less.

Abby stands from the couch as Jake comes back into the living room.

"I'm gonna throw this shirt in the wash, see if I can't get the blood out for you. You need to rest, you have a concussion and a lot of injuries that can shift if you move wrong. Since you don't want to go to the ER, I need you to stay here. I refuse to let you go home in this state with no one to watch you. That sound fair?" Abby asks. Lexa just nods, already feeling exhaustion start to take over. "I'm going to write a prescription for some pain medicine and i'll make Jake go to the hospital to get it filled for you. But for now, i'm going to give you some Tylenol PM to help the inflammation and it'll help you sleep."

"Thank you. For everything." Lexa cracks out. Abby smiles at her and nods her head.

"No issues, sweetie. Just follow my orders, alright?" Abby smirks, clearly knowing more about Lexa than she thought. With that, Abby and Jake leave the living room and Clarke just stands by Lexa awkwardly. Lexa turns to her and can tell the blonde is getting angry, she waits for the verbal lashing she deserves. Instead though, Clarke moves over to the couch and perches herself on the coffee table by Lexa's head. She hesitantly brings her hand up and brushes some of Lexa's curls from her forehead and runs her thumb over the wound on her head. Lexa closes her eyes at the touch, she never thought she'd actually miss the blonde's touch.

"Who did this to you?" Clarke finally whispers. Lexa opens her eyes and just shakes her head.

"Just another night in Lexa Land." Lexa tries to joke, adding a smirk for good measure. Clarke shakes her head but Lexa can see a small smile form on her lips. She then turns serious as her hand moves to the splint on her wrist, lightly grazing her fingers over it. Clarke opens her mouth to speak but is interrupted with Jake coming in with more water and some tablets. Jake must sense some sort of tension so he instead gives Clarke the water and pills. He walks over to Lexa and gives her a smile and light squeeze of her shoulder.

"Merry Christmas Eve, kiddo. Get some sleep." Lexa nods and gives him a smile. He then turns to Clarke and places a kiss on her head. "Not too late, let her rest some." He murmurs, Clarke nods and soon they're left alone once more. Clarke stares at Lexa as Lexa looks up at the ceiling, starting to feel uncomfortable and confused as to why she came there in the first place.

"Are you comfortable?" Clarke asks after a few moments. Lexa doesn't turn to look at her but keeps looking up at the ceiling.

"Mhmm. Thanks." Lexa mutters. She's starting to feel guilty. She cut off Clarke because she got too close, and then she gets hurt and drags her ass all the way back to her house. Breaks their deal of being a secret by having her parents fix her up. Now laying on the blondes couch in her t-shirt, trying to avoid her gaze. Why the hell can't she just get her shit together and not be afraid of her feelings for the cheerleader? She feels Clarke begin to smooth her hair once more, her thumb grazing the wound on her head every now and then.

"What are you thinking about?" Clarke asks, and once again, Lexa doesn't get how she can see her so clearly. She knows when Lexa is thinking too hard. Knows when she is purposely trying to push her away.

"That i'm tired." Lexa lies. Clarke buys it though and nods, pulling her hand away from her hair. She takes a deep breath and stands from the coffee table.

"Well then, i'll just be upstairs if you need anything. Goodnight Lexa." Clarke smiles at her. Lexa nods.

"Goodnight Clarke."

//

After an awkward as hell morning, Lexa sits up on the couch as Jake hands her a cup of hot chocolate. The Griffin clan had all woken up early and opened their presents after the insistence of Lexa. Then, Clarke and Abby tried to break their tradition of seeing an early morning movie at the theater. Lexa had to force them both out of the door. Now she's stuck with Clarke's father, who is pretty decent, but for some reason she feels like she's about to get the 'you hurt my daughter, i'm going to kill you' speech. Even though it's irrational since her and Clarke aren't even together. But something tells her Jake knows a little something about their previous...thing.

"You feeling alright?" Jake asks with a smile on his face. Lexa sips her hot chocolate and nods.

"Yeah, I don't know how i'll ever repay you guys. But i'm probably going to head out here soon, my family will be worried about me." Lexa lies. Jake cocks his eyebrow, catching Lexa in her lie. 

"You and I both know that isn't true." Jake softly replies. Lexa rolls her eyes and adjusts herself on the couch. She starts playing with the hem of the t-shirt Clarke had given her, trying to avoid blue eyes on her. "You should stay here as long as you need." Jake speaks after a few seconds of silence. Lexa snaps her eyes up at him and begins shaking her head.

"No, it's alright. I got my apartment I need to get back to. I can't really remember if I locked it up or not." Lexa chuckles lightly. Jake smirks at her and once again, gives her a knowing look. Like father like daughter obviously.

"Look, i'm sure you've figured out that I know a lot about you. Clarke kind of spilled her guts a few months ago when I had heard some...things coming from her room late one night." Lexa starts to blush for probably the first time in her life, "But anyways, she's told me a lot about you. How pretty you are and how she feels when she's around you." Lexa's blush starts to grow a little deeper and Lexa wishes she could disappear. "She also said you are incredibly smart. So smart that it gets you into trouble sometimes. You get bored real easy. I'm assuming what happened last night might have something to do with that." Jake states. Lexa furrows her brow and shakes her head.

"No. No, more like me being dumb got me into this mess. There were a lot of signs that I should have saw coming, I was being arrogant." Lexa replies. Jake smiles and nods his head. A beat of silence passes by them, then Jake speaks up once more.

"Look, i've heard plenty of rumors about you from other parents. But I think you're a smart kid who had a terrible start in life. I think all your life, you've had people telling you what you needed to do and no one has ever asked you what you want. I think even my daughter is guilty of that. So i'm going to ask you, what do you want out of life? What do you want?" Jake asks. Lexa scrunches up her face, not really sure why this topic of conversation has come up. She feels her insides burning and wants to get away from this topic as fast as possible and decides to just let the words roll off her tongue.

"I don't know. I guess I want to invent things. I want to be more than what my past has made me. I want to go somewhere where nobody has preconceived notions of me." Lexa says. She furrows her brow slightly, not really sure if she was just telling Jake what he wanted to hear or if she actually believes that. She finally looks over at Jake and he's beaming.

"I like you kid. I do. I think if you really want to, you have the power to make those things happen. Just make me a deal huh?" Jake asks. Lexa nods, she can at least entertain a deal with the man. "Try and stay out of trouble. I get that maybe it's hard, given your situation, but do me a solid and try, alright?" He looks at her with wide eyes. Lexa's been asked to stay out of trouble by so many parental figures it's laughable how many times she didn't listen. For some reason though; maybe it's because he actually seems genuine, or the fact his wife patched her up, or it's the pain meds he had picked up earlier this morning; but she finds herself actually nodding, seemingly sealing that promise. He moves his hand over her leg and pats it lightly.

"You're definitely a charmer, just like Clarke mentioned." He chuckles and grabs his own hot chocolate and moves over to his recliner, grabbing the newspaper and turning on the television for Lexa, the same old black and white Christmas movie that Mrs. Smith had played in class is flickering over the screen. Lexa pays attention to it for the first time and when Clarence the guardian angel writes in Tom Sawyer 'No man is a failure who has friends' it hits Lexa in the chest. Maybe she's been going about this whole Clarke thing wrong. Maybe having feelings for Clarke is just something she can't cut off. Maybe refusing the help from so many people is what has made her fail so much in life. Maybe it's time to accept that she can't be closed off for the rest of her life if she wants to succeed.

 

 


	4. C

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cu·ri·os·i·ty  
> kyo͝orēˈäsədē/  
> noun  
> a strong desire to know or learn something.

Lexa's demeanor after staying at the Griffin's for a few days had flipped. She had decided it would be okay with her to be open to friendship and help if she wants to be successful in this thing called life. Clarke and herself talked late one evening before Lexa went back to her apartment. Lexa told Clarke that she couldn't be anything other than her friend this time around. No sex involved. The cheerleader had looked disappointed at first for reasons unknown to Lexa. Lexa didn't think she was that good in bed. So much so a girl would be disappointed that she would no longer be able to have sex with her. When school started once more, Lexa did try hard to keep her promise to Jake. She tried to keep her head down in the hallways and tried not to scoff too loudly when a teacher was teaching something completely wrong. It didn't mean incidents didn't come up ever. One incident in particular had Lexa face to face with Jake once more.

It was nearing the end of the school year. The snow had long since melted; the grass green and flowers in full bloom. Lexa had been called into Principal Kane's office, probably to be reprimanded for something that Lexa couldn't remember doing. Mr. James excused Lexa from AP Calculus when someone from the office approached the classroom with a note. Lexa had gathered up her things and kept her head down as all the students watched her leave. If it had been last semester, Lexa would have smirked and winked at a few students. But she was trying to turn over a new leaf. For the first time, she was hesitant to make her way to Principal Kane's office. She walked a little more slowly than usual, and when she approached the office she plopped down in the chair just outside Kane's door. After ten minutes of actively avoiding the three secretaries eyes on her, Kane popped his head out and silently gestured for Lexa to enter. She picked up her backpack and trudged her way inside. She took a seat in the stiff chair as he shut the door and made his way around his desk to sit across from her. A thick moment of silence enveloped them until Kane broke out in a smile.

"I don't think i've ever seen you this nervous Woods." His grin grew. _Shit._ Lexa didn't think her normally cool stoic form was faltering in front of the man who sometimes looked to fear her. _Damn you Jake Griffin_. Lexa clenches her jaw and squares her shoulders up a little more. 

"I'm fine, sir." Lexa says evenly. Kane's smile falters a little and nods. He then flips open a file. Lexa looks down briefly and sees it's a file on Lexa, due to her student photo she was forced to take for her ASB card. She looks back up to Kane but he's looking down, eye furrowed seriously. He doesn't look up or speak for quite awhile and Lexa starts to fidget and shift uncomfortably.

"Okay. I guess, I really just wanted to speak with you today because I wanted to know what's up. What's changed from last semester?" Kane looks up to meet Lexa's eyes. He stares at her curiously, like she's about to let him in on a huge secret. Lexa furrows her brow in confusion.

"Uh, I don't know?" Lexa states it as more of a question. Kane nods and leans back in his chair. He studies her for a moment, taking in her appearance and demeanor. He finally sits up after the silence begins to turn extremely uncomfortable and he laces his hands together and sets them on his desk, Lexa's file underneath them.

"You haven't been in detention for almost two months now. You've been attending all your classes and haven't been disruptive with the teachers. You've been staying out of trouble outside of school as well." Kane has a slight smile forming on his lips, Lexa looks away from him. She feels embarrassed for some reason. "You know Lexa, if you would have been doing these things at the very beginning, you'd be valedictorian of the senior class. The only reason you're not is because of your truancies and attendance. Your GPA is the highest this school has ever seen, probably the highest in this part of the country. Graduation is in a few weeks and I guess I just wanted to have a one on one with you without it being in detention." Lexa isn't sure if she's supposed to speak now, even if she is, she's not sure what to say. Kane has never really praised her and this was probably the first time he's actually called her by her first name.

"I don't...really know what you want me to say." Lexa shrugs. Kane begins chuckling and shakes his head in amusement. 

"You don't need to say anything. Although I must admit i'm shocked that you are rendered speechless for the first time since i've met you. I just wanted to tell you that...I know i've been hard on you. I know some of the teachers have been hard on you. But I hope you realize it's because your potential to change the world is astronomical. You are incredibly gifted and smart. Just, keep it up I guess. You only have a few weeks left and then the world is your oyster, or whatever the saying is. That's all I wanted to tell you as well as to give you this." Kane rolls his chair back so he can open a drawer in his desk. He grabs it and Lexa recognizes it. It's the cap and gown uniform. It's solid blue and the tassel is a mixture of gold and blue. There's also several medals and ribbons inside the plastic. Lexa clenches her jaw, surprised that getting something as simple as a cap and gown is making a lump form in her throat. Kane must notice because he pushes it towards Lexa. Lexa looks up and he gives her a warm smile.

"You earned it Woods." Kane states. Lexa quietly thanks him and puts the plastic package into her backpack and bids him farewell. Lexa walks out of his office with a little more pep in her step and a small smile playing on her lips. She decides before she goes to her last class of the day, she'll take a second to gather herself in the bathroom. The last period bell had rung while she was in Kane's office and she had a note from him but no time on it. She figures she can take as long as she needs. She walks down the hallway and goes into the girls bathroom closest to her final class of AP Government. She pushes open the door and steps inside the seemingly empty bathroom. She's only fixing herself up for a few seconds when she hears a stifled sob coming from one of the stalls. Lexa furrows her brow and turns around.

"You alright in there?" Lexa calls out. She sees legs underneath the stall standing up but not moving to open the stall up.

"Lexa?" A familiar voice echoes throughout the bathroom. Lexa turns her whole body now after hearing the voice and walks towards the blue stall.

"Raven? What's wrong? Open up." Lexa commands. Lexa hears Raven sigh and open up the stall door. Lexa takes in her friends appearance. Her hair is disheveled and her makeup is slightly running. Her warm brown eyes are teary and Lexa can see a hand print bruise starting to form on the inside of her thigh. Lexa frowns, her heart rate increasing. She clenches her jaw and takes a tentative step forward towards Raven. Raven starts to cry a little more as Lexa reaches out to put a hand on her shoulder.

"Who did this? What'd they do?" Lexa whispers, nothing but concern laced in her voice. Raven's lip trembles and she begins shaking her head. 

"I can't. You've been doing so well. I can't." Raven chokes out. Lexa sighs and shakes her head at her friend. No way in hell is she going to let her newfound reputation hold her back from helping one of her close friends.

"Don't worry about me. I care about you Rae. I need to know what happened, we tell each other everything. Why stop now?" Lexa tries. Raven lets out a little watery chuckle and then begins nodding her head. Lexa gives her a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder. Raven sighs and looks down at the floor, seemingly trying to muster up the courage to tell Lexa what she needed to know. Lexa begins rubbing her thumb on Raven's shoulder, hoping to soothe her worries. She finally breaks contact with the floor and looks into Lexa's eyes. A surge of confidence coursing through her warm eyes.

"I was leaving the lab late, the one out in the portables. Well, i've been...i've been talking to Finn Collins a little here and there. Anyways, he was on the side of the school and I went over to just shoot the shit with him, you know? Then he...I don't know. He got the wrong idea I think and started kissing me. He pushed me hard up against the brick wall and started trying to force his hand up my shorts. I kept telling him to stop but he wouldn't. I finally got the upper hand and was able to break free and just ran in here. I must have done something to make him think-" Lexa cuts her off before she can even finish that sentence.

"No you didn't. You were trying to be his friend. You didn't do anything wrong. You hear me? You didn't do anything wrong." Lexa says, she moves a piece of Raven's hair out of her face. Raven seems to hear Lexa and nods. Lexa begins to feel her anger rising up though each second she takes in Raven's appearance. She takes a step back from Raven, removing her comforting hand on her shoulder. She begins working her jaw from side to side and she sees Raven understanding what's going through Lexa's mind. Raven wipes her eyes and tries to take a step forward. But Lexa backs up, feeling her body igniting with a dormant anger that has been residing in her. They both hear the bell for the end of the day and Lexa takes one look at Raven before she's headed towards the door, ready to go find her target.

"Lex, don't-" Lexa doesn't hear what Raven says as she's already out the door and into the bustling hallway of students. She has tunnel vision right now, ignoring everyone looking at her with wide eyes, clearly seeing Lexa is about to unleash fury. She doesn't notice a portion of the students following behind her, excitement buzzing knowing she's about to unleash hell onto someone. Lexa looks around the hallway but doesn't see her target. She soldiers on around a corner and then sees him. He's leaned up smugly against a locker, talking to Bellamy Blake, Jasper Jordan, and Nathan Miller. Lexa clenches her jaw and all she sees is red. The last thing she remembers is walking towards the football player.

Lexa sits in the nurses office with her head down, police officers standing outside the door waiting to question her. She had blacked out during the fight, or more like her beating the shit out of Finn Collins, not really much fighting going on on his part. The only sign she had anything to do with the beating is her re-injured wrist, bloody knuckles and Finn's blood splatter on her shirt and face. The school nurse gets a splint ready and begins cleaning Lexa's knuckles off. Lexa keeps her head down, in shame and exhaustion. The nurse sets her wrist and soon, Lexa sees the nurses feet going towards the door. She keeps her eyes on the floor and hears whispering, probably telling the officers she's alright enough to take down to the station. Instead though nice shoes come into her view and she feels a body sit next to her. Lexa hesitantly lifts her head to see who sat next to her and is met with concerned blue eyes. 

"You alright kiddo?" Jake asks her, Lexa furrows her brow. Not sure why he was here, and who had got him here. He's not her guardian, she's eighteen, soon to be nineteen in July. Lexa then hears footsteps by the door and turns and sees Clarke with soft eyes, holding nothing but concern in them. Lexa locks eyes with her and she feels embarrassed. She hasn't lost that much control over a situation since she was fourteen, especially not in front of the entire school. She definitely didn't need Clarke seeing that. Lexa clenches her jaw and breaks contact with Clarke and returns her eyes to the floor. Her hands begin shaking as she continues to clench her jaw, thinking the pressure she's putting on her teeth will probably crack them. She feels a warm arm wrap around her and makes her lean into his side.

"It's gonna be okay. Your friend Raven told the police and Principal Kane what had transpired before the...confrontation. Do you remember what happened?" Jake asks. Lexa shakes her head, not willing herself to speak. "That's okay. You don't have to remember right now. Collins is going to be okay. He's got a broken jaw, nose, eye socket, and cheek. But their fixing it. Principal Kane and I already discussed that these circumstances were...special, for lack of a better word. You're gonna be suspended for the rest of the week. I don't want you to worry about Collins's parents, i'll talk to them. But for now, we gotta get you to the ER to get that wrist cast. Alright?" Jake asks her warmly. Lexa nods and Jake helps her stand up. Lexa finally looks up and meets Clarke's eyes. Clarke gives her a tight lipped smile and walks towards her, wrapping her in her first hug she's probably ever received in her life. She usually settles for pats on the back or shoulder squeezes. It takes a second for Lexa to wrap her arms around Clarke's waist but she does. She slightly buries her face in the crook of Clarke's neck.

"You didn't do anything wrong." Clarke whispers in her ear. Repeating the words Lexa had said to Raven in the bathroom. Lexa nods in her shoulder and they break apart. Jake escorting her to the ER and Clarke joining them.

//

From there Lexa had served out her suspension. Finn's parents decided not to press charges on Lexa after speaking with the ever charming Jake Griffin. Finn was suspended as well but was still able to graduate, just like Lexa. Lexa walked the stage and received her diploma. Lexa had been invited to Clarke's for her graduation party but she decided to skip it. Some of her friends had decided Lexa was guilty and should have been punished more severely. Some of them had decided the two poor kids were lying and that it was a conspiracy to get rid of the rich kid. Lexa of course rolled her eyes when she heard some of Clarke's friends saying that. She figured not going would help alleviate any tension that'd be brought out. Raven had been alright after the incident, joking with Lexa that she owed her her life. Lexa was a little sad that Raven would be headed to Arkadia College over an hour and a half away. But she deserved it, the girl earning herself a full ride scholarship. Lexa had opted out of college, not really having the funds for it or the patience to sit through lectures. After graduation, Lexa had scored a pretty good job at the old lumber mill in town. They wanted more girls to work there in order to seem 'progressive' so they jumped on the chance to get Lexa involved. 

Lexa spent the summer working and spending time with Raven, Anya, and Clarke. Clarke would also be headed off to Arkadia College in the fall for pre-med. The two kept up their platonic friendship for the most part. Although Lexa would be lying if she said her eyes didn't linger a little longer than necessary when swimming with her at the river. Or that she wasn't purposely touching her shoulder with her own when watching a movie after having dinner with her parents. Lexa has found herself stuck in a precarious situation. She has no problem opening up to Clarke when they aren't involved intimately. It doesn't freak her out anymore and she can pretty much tell the former cheerleader anything now. But now she's finding herself wanting to be intimate with her more and more as time passes. Clarke doesn't seem interested in that though, so she pushes the confusing thoughts away.

Early August is when Clarke and Raven are off to Arkadia College. Lexa promises to call both of them and when she gets a vehicle to make weekend trips up there. She doesn't hug Raven but gives her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. She promises to look after Raven's mother for her. She does hug Clarke though, promising her that she won't stop going to her parents house for weekly dinners. She memorizes the feel of Clarke's body and her intoxicating smell. They leave and Lexa throws herself into working at the lumber mill. By the end of August she's able to afford a restored silver 1974 Honda Motorcycle CB200. Abby called it a death trap when her eyes first saw it. Jake asked her quietly if he could take a spin while Abby was at work. Lexa let him have a go around the neighborhood for over an hour. She finally made plans to visit both Clarke and Raven at Arkadia College in mid-September. 

Lexa arrives to the expansive campus. It's the biggest school she's ever seen in person. There are buildings after buildings and young adults and older adults all rushing around. Lexa parks her bike in the parking lot Raven told her to go. She takes off her helmet and takes in the fresh air. The campus isn't loud, even with the amount of people walking around, it's actually quite peaceful. Lexa hoists her right leg over the bike and plants her feet. She begins looking around for the dormitory that Raven told her to go. It's nearing one o'clock now and Lexa knows Raven doesn't have anymore classes on this Friday. She spots the dormitory named Mecca and begins headed that way. 

Someone holds the door open for Lexa and she looks at her hand at the room number she had written down. She heads up two flights of stairs and finds the room she's looking for. She knocks two times and she hears a little bit of laughing inside. The door swings open and she's greeted by Raven, beaming. 

"Hey killer! Bout time you came and visited little ole' me." Raven cheekily grins. Lexa smiles back at her and shakes her head. Raven moves out of the way and the sight that greets her inside the cramped dorm room takes her a little by surprise. Clarke is sitting on a bed up against the wall with Octavia Blake. Lexa furrows her brow just slightly at the random set of people in Raven's dorm, she glances back over at Raven who is shutting her door. Raven looks at her and seems to read her mind and shrugs. Clarke breaks the moment of weird silence and hops up from the bed and launches herself into Lexa's arms.

"God i've missed you! You know how hard it is to find someone to listen to my ramblings about pollution?" Clarke exclaims, wrapping Lexa up extremely tight. Lexa glances over her shoulder and sees Octavia looking at Clarke weird. Lexa shakes her confusion away though and pulls back, dramatically studying Clarke up and down. Clarke frowns in confusion.

"Alright good, I can tell Abby you weren't probed by aliens. She told me to relay to you that you need to call her more than just once a month for only twenty minutes." Lexa smirks, cocking an eyebrow at her. Clarke rolls her eyes and playfully shoves Lexa. 

"I've only been here since August. It's September now, i'm in my adjusting period, tell her that." Clarke flops back down next to Octavia and begins picking at her nails. Lexa looks over at Octavia and gives her a small smile, she is Clarke's best friend after all. Octavia gives her a tight lipped smile back and Lexa thinks it's probably the best she's going to get.

"So a little irony here, Blake is my roomie." Raven breaks through the awkward exchange. Lexa nods and moves to sit on a wooden chair that's by a desk. She sets her helmet down but keeps her backpack secured. 

"What have you been doing back at home, Lexa? Anything interesting?" Octavia finally speaks. The tone of her voice sounds judgmental but Lexa shrugs it off, even if Clarke cuts a glare at Octavia, also hearing her tone of voice.

"Working, also doing a pet project." Lexa states. Octavia nods while Raven perks up at the mention of a pet project. Lexa turns to her, knowing the girl is ready to rattle off a million questions.

"Please tell me it's the thing we've been talking about forever. Have you actually figured it out?" Raven asks, eyes bright with excitement. Lexa nods and quickly glances towards Clarke and Octavia on the other side of the room. She's hoping it hints to Raven she doesn't want to talk about it in front of them. More so Octavia than Clarke. Raven picks it up and leans back on the bed she's sitting on, giving Lexa a devilish grin. "Lexa Woods, you're gonna freaking change the world." Lexa grins and chuckles.

"What are you guys talking about?" Clarke asks, her eyes bright and curious as well. Lexa looks over to her and gives her a cheeky smile.

"Wouldn't you like to know." Lexa jokes. For some reason Clarke blushes at the comment. The two lock eyes for a moment until Raven clears her throat. 

"Well I think Blake and I were planning on hitting up the cafeteria. You guys hang out and catch up now because Lexa, I get you for the rest of the night." Raven says, standing up from the bed. Octavia also gets up, albeit reluctantly, and makes her way out the door with Raven. The door clicks shut and Clarke sighs loudly. She looks at Lexa and purses her lips. Lexa gives her a smirk.

"Sorry about O. She's just getting use to branching out of the clique. She's getting there though, definitely with the help of Raven." Clarke smiles. Lexa shrugs.

"It's alright. Everyone's got a different opinion of me, i'm used to it. Enough about that, how are things here?" Lexa stands up from the chair and makes her way to sit next to Clarke on the bed. Clarke's cerulean eyes follow her movements the whole time. Clarke beams and then launches into all the classes she's taking and the different professors she has. Lexa hangs onto every word she says. She tells funny stories of how lost she got on the first day of classes. She launches into a rant about how the greek system should be abolished. Lexa just smiles and lets her ramble the whole time. Having missed her raspy voice in person, especially when she's excited or passionate about a subject. After about forty-five minutes, her eyes get comically wide.

"Jesus, Lex! You've just sat there listening to my stupid voice talk for almost an hour! I'm such a self-absorbed asshole." Clarke mutters the last comment. Lexa laughs and shakes her head as Clarke gets a crinkle in the middle of her forehead. She then tries to blow a piece of her blonde hair away from her own face, still frowning. Lexa moves her hand and brushes it out of the way for her. The two are quite close now and Lexa knows she definitely didn't imagine Clarke looking down at her lips. Before anything could potentially happen, Lexa backs away a little. Clarke's cheeks turn pink and she begins looking around at anything other than Lexa.

"So what's this pet project you obviously didn't want Octavia to know about?" Clarke asks pointedly with a smirk. Lexa leans back on the bed and sighs.

"I'm developing a system to help clear oceans of garbage. I drew a concept a few years ago but now that I have a decent paying job, i'm able to buy some parts to make an actual prototype. It'll take awhile to get the parts I need but I think I can eventually make it happen." Lexa looks at Clarke who looks at her in awe.

"You're so fucking smart. Seriously. Raven's right, you're going to change the world one day. How does it work?" Clarke asks. Lexa tries to shrug off the compliment from her favorite blonde, not wanting to go back to blurring lines. But it proves to be futile as she watches Clarke lick her lips. Lexa shakes herself out of her trance and turns away so she's able to explain the mechanism she wants to build. It launches her into a thirty minute explanation of her invention. Clarke watches her the whole time and nods along. After Lexa's done with her explanation Clarke gives her a toothy grin.

"You should talk to my dad. He could probably help you perfect it and sell it. You know he'd be happy to help you out with it." Lexa furrows her brow. She hadn't even thought about bringing up her idea to Jake. Which is kind of dumb because he is an engineer. She could have perfected it months ago with his help. Lexa turns to Clarke and gives her a smile and nod, letting her know that she'll bring it up to him when she gets back. 

The rest of the weekend flies by. She hangs out with Clarke a few more times and they make a pact to not tell Abby that she rode on the back of her motorcycle. She spends most of her time with Raven though and even gets a laugh or two out of Octavia late on Saturday. Lexa tells Raven about Clarke's suggestion of going to Jake and Raven agrees. If she wants to make money out of her invention, running it by him is the way to go. Late Saturday after Octavia has fallen asleep Lexa makes a promise to Raven that if she makes her own company full of inventions, Raven and Anya will run it with her. Raven had beamed and just told her to 'get on it. I'm ready to be rich.' She leaves early Sunday morning with a blush after Clarke stood outside in her pajamas and gave her a kiss on the cheek goodbye. 

It's a few days after her trip she loads up her backpack with a hand-written business plan and her drawings of the mechanism she was in the process of building. She hops on her bike and heads across town to the gated community. She gets her normal wink from the security guard and gets let through. She sees Abby's car is in the driveway but not Jake's. She parks her bike on the street and sets the kickstand. She jogs her way up the walkway and rings the doorbell. Abby answers after a few seconds and she smiles.

"One day we'll get you to stop knocking and ringing the bell." She moves to the side as Lexa gives her a sheepish smile. The two make their way to the kitchen and Lexa hops onto a stool on the island. Abby moves to the fridge for a pitcher of lemonade and some hummus. She sets them in front of Lexa and moves to the pantry for pita chips. She then moves to the cabinet for two glasses and makes her way back over to Lexa, pouring the lemonade and pushing a glass forward. Lexa thanks her and takes a long drink of the refreshment. She feels Abby's eyes on her and sure enough they are.

"What?" Lexa asks, wide eyed with a pita chip half way to her mouth. Abby narrows her eyes.

"You look skinnier. You have enough groceries? And I mean actual groceries, like a balance of vegetables, fruits and dairy?" Abby asks pointedly. Lexa furrows her brow and looks down at herself to see if she looks skinnier. She knows she's been gaining more muscle than anything because of her work at the lumber mill. Her arms have more definition now and her stomach has begun forming abs. She doesn't think she looks skinnier and thinks Abby is projecting because she misses Clarke. 

"I look fine. And yes I have enough 'actual' groceries. Thank you for the concern though." Lexa smiles, popping the chip into her mouth and taking another sip of the lemonade. Abby rolls her eyes and chuckles.

"So what brings you around? How was visiting Clarke and Raven?" Abby asks. Lexa holds up her hand for Abby to wait a minute while she chews and swallows the pita chip with hummus. After a good thirty seconds, she answers.

"It was good. Clarke hasn't been probed by aliens and says she is in her adjustment period and will call you soon. Actually i'm here because of Clarke. I've been working on something that I wanted Jake to look at, Clarke suggested it." Lexa replies. Abby nods and gives her a warm smile.

"Good, i'm glad she's doing well. Jake should be back within the next twenty minutes. Do you mind if I ask what it is?" Lexa contemplates it. There's only two people who know about it and she doesn't want to jinx the potential of it. Lexa purses her lips and ducks her head sheepishly.

"I don't want to jinx it." Lexa gives Abby a shy smile. Abby chuckles and shakes her head.

"You've changed quite a bit since the first time I met you." Abby comments. She moves over to the sink and begins unloading the dishwasher. Lexa crinkles her forehead.

"How do you mean?" Lexa asks, genuinely curious. Abby turns around and softens.

"You have goals. You have dreams. You're not as guarded as you were and you're not as afraid as you were to ask for help. Plus you're not all bloody and beaten," Lexa laughs," Trust me, sweetie, it's a great and welcome change. Embrace it." Abby turns back around and begins silently unloading the dishwasher as Lexa ponders her observation. It's not long after that Jake bounds through the kitchen with a goofy grin on his face. He walks over to Abby and gives her a chaste kiss then moves to stand in front of Lexa. He reaches out and ruffles her wavy brunette hair. Lexa pulls back and scrunches up her nose.

"Usually it's like pulling teeth to get you to come to dinner every week. This is a welcomed surprise." Jake beams. Lexa nods as she tries fixing her hair. 

"I was actually wondering if we could go into your office. I have something I wanted your opinion on." Lexa states. Jake furrows his brow slightly.

"You're not pregnant are you? You didn't rob a bank or something?" Jake mocks seriousness. Lexa rolls her eyes.

"The first one would be nearly impossible since i'm super gay and the second one obviously didn't happen cause i'd be halfway to Cuba by now." Lexa deadpans. Jake and Abby take a beat of silence then burst out laughing together. Jake moves around the island and puts his arm around Lexa's shoulders, still chuckling. 

"C'mon kiddo, let's go talk." The two make it into his office and Lexa starts to feel a little nervous. Jake has connections to make this pet project an actual reality and if she didn't perfect her business plan, he might tell her it's a shit idea. After a deep breath while Jake moved to sit on the other side of his desk, Lexa unzips her backpack and brings out the binder filled with her business plan and prototype drawings. Lexa decides to just get it over with and begins pitching Jake the idea. She explains the mechanism and what it'd require to build a working prototype. She breaks down the cost of materials and supply and demand. Jake listens intently with a serious face and furrowed brow, nodding along. He doesn't laugh or look down on her when she shows him her old crayon drawings that she has since updated to pencil. After her pitch, he asks her for the binder with the business plan completely outlined. He spends nearly thirty minutes looking over every piece. Lexa's heart is racing the entire time. She also thinks she might be a sweaty mess.

Jake finally closes the binder and looks up at Lexa, wide eyed. His mouth then grows into a grin, then a great toothy smile.

"You are incredible. Damn, I knew you were smart as all hell, but to see it like this. I'm in shock." Jake leans back in his chair. Lexa shifts awkwardly, not really knowing what to say or where he is going with this.

"S-so you like it?" Lexa murmurs. Jake lets out a chuckle.

"Like it? Kid, I freaking love it. You know how many people would kill to get their hands on something like this? How much money a company would offer you for something like this?" Jake questions. Lexa nods, she's very aware how much she could potentially get if she sold out.

"That's actually something I want to talk with you about. I don't want to sell it to a company or corporation. I want to do my own business, like of different inventions I make. A lá Joy Mangano if you will. But these things help the environment and all that. I want a brand that helps the world." Lexa explains. Jake grins even more and nods his head. 

"I think that's a smart idea Lexa. Really smart. Don't sell out to the man, even though I work for the man. This is a genius idea and if you want my help with getting you to your ultimate goal, i'm all in. I don't even want a stake or percentage because I believe in you kid. This is your dream and your dream alone and i'm gonna help you." Lexa definitely wasn't expecting that. She had already prepared that if he said yes she'd give him a stake in the product and percentage of the future company. She's rendered speechless. 

"You sh-you should definitely get something though. I can't let you do something like that for free." Lexa finally gets out. Jake begins shaking his head and stands up from his desk. He walks around his desk and stands in front of Lexa. He puts his hand on her shoulder and looks into her eyes.

"You achieving your dreams is enough for me. We're helping Clarke achieve her dream of being a trauma surgeon and she isn't telling us she's going to pay us back because we don't want her to. The same goes for you kiddo." Lexa frowns.

"She's your daughter though." Lexa states the obvious. Jake shakes his head.

"When are you going to get it through that pretty head of yours that we consider you our daughter as well."

//

Lexa finally got Jake to come to an agreement of some sort of payment. They wrote up a contract and Lexa told him that her first big payout, she'll pay him everything he puts in back. Although he continuously tried to delete it out of the contract, but Lexa isn't dumb. Her days were now spent working from sunrise to sunset at the lumber mill and then working in the evening with Jake on the first prototype. After about two weeks of continuous work in the Griffin's garage, they finally got a working prototype up and running. Clarke had decided to come home that weekend and Lexa got to excitedly show her the prototype they had been working on. Clarke had been in awe watching how it worked. She then called Lexa the most amazing human being and Lexa choked on the water she was drinking.

It was later that night that her entire life would be completely altered permanently. Lexa had stayed at the Griffin's, wanting to hang out with Clarke while she visited. The two were listening to music in her bedroom while Clarke stared at the updated sketches of Lexa's prototype. She had startled the hell out of Lexa when she shot upright on her bed and gave Lexa a mischievous grin.

"I want to take you somewhere." She stated. Lexa just nodded and the two hopped in her Ford Escape and began driving. They weren't too far from the suburbs but it felt like they were out in the middle of nowhere. Now here Lexa is, watching as Clarke keeps a grin plastered on her face as she drives down a short dirt road. They arrive at their destination and Clarke shuts her car off, leaving her lights to shine on the object in front of them. Lexa knows exactly where they are. The many rumors that the house is haunted or that if you throw a rock at a window while making a wish, if it shatters first try your wish comes true. The house is a very rundown, abandoned plantation home. Lexa looks over at Clarke curiously but she gives nothing away and just grins at Lexa.

"Let's go." Before Lexa can protest, Clarke is out of her car grabbing a flashlight from her backseat. Lexa jumps out as well and looks out to where the presumed front of the house is facing. There's a large body of water and the moon and stars are glistening over it. It looked like something out of a dream. Lexa felt like if she stared long enough she might actually think she's floating in space. Clarke moves and stands next to her, now holding both a flashlight and aztec woven blanket in one hand. 

"Can you swim in there?" Lexa questions her. Clarke shakes her head, both still staring out at the moon and stars.

"No, it's got too much bad bacteria and algae." Clarke then turns and gives Lexa a lopsided grin, "Hey, maybe someday you can invent something that can clean lakes and make them swimmable and drinkable." Lexa gives her a crooked smile and feels her heart quicken when Clarke grabs her hand and tugs her along to the huge rundown mansion. The two carefully step on the rickety porch and climb through a hole in the front door, about the size of a crawl space. They make it in and Clarke shines her flashlight all around the rooms. There are cobwebs everywhere. Some things were still intact though. The fireplace probably had a thousand layers of dust on it but Lexa could still see the intricate designs of the stone. She hears a click and turns over to her right where Clarke is in a more cleared out room. She has a lighter and is lighting a bunch of old candles. 

Lexa makes her way over to her and watches as the room that looked like it was an old formal living room, begins to be bathed in warm light. Clarke finishes lighting all the candles and then moves over to the blanket and spreads it out on the floor in the middle of the room. She plops down and sits criss-cross. She then looks over at Lexa in the doorway and pats the space in front of her for Lexa to join. Lexa rolls her eyes and walks over. She sits directly in front of her, also criss-cross. The two hold eyes for a moment until Lexa breaks the silence.

"Is there a reason why we're risking getting asbestos by sitting in an old, rundown plantation home?" Lexa cocks her eyebrow and smirks at Clarke. Clarke smirks and begins challenging her stare. 

"We're not getting asbestos you drama queen. But yes there is a reason I brought you here this evening." Clarke says. She then shyly looks away and Lexa softens her stare-down. She can tell Clarke is extremely nervous as she watches her fidget with her hands. 

"Alright, shoot. Why are we here on this fine evening m'am." Lexa gives her a fake southern accent. Clarke looks up and chuckles. It dies down and she sighs.

"It's just, you showed me something so special to you and I wanted to show you something special to me. This place is special to me because I want to buy it one day." Clarke says. Lexa raises her eyebrows, expecting Clarke to tell her she wanted to perform a seance or something, not that she wanted to buy this piece of shit.

"You really want to buy this place?" Lexa asks. Clarke nods her head and Lexa leans her palms back so she can decline her body.

"When I become a trauma surgeon and have enough money, I want to buy this place and hire people to renovate it so I can live in it. You know the story behind it right?" Clarke asks. Lexa has heard many stories about the place and she isn't sure which one Clarke is talking about so she shakes her head. Partially cause she's curious, the other part just wanting to listen to Clarke passionately tell a story. 

"Well this rich girl back in like 1836 had fallen in love with one of her hand maidens. She had this place built so far out of town so people wouldn't know about her and her lover. They'd be so condemned, not only for being two women but because she was white and rich and the other was African American and a slave. When the house was finished, the girl waited for her lover to come join her here. But she never made it. She was murdered in cold blood on the way here and according to legend, the girl felt it when she had passed, almost like they were soulmates or something. The girl passed away not even twenty four hours later in her sleep. The house staff that knew about the relationship reportedly wrote that she died of a broken heart. Then the house has just stood vacant since then." Clarke finishes the story. Lexa grins at her and shakes her head.

"I know for a fact that's a bullshit story since this house was built in 1867 by a man named Lyndon-" Clarke cuts her off by putting her hand over Lexa's mouth. She starts laughing leaning forward, practically in Lexa's lap, trying to get her to be quiet.

"Shhhh, I don't need your intelligence to ruin the romanticism of this place!" Clarke exclaims in-between laughs. After a minute Clarke lets her hand drop from Lexa's mouth. Lexa laughs heartily and shakes her head. 

"So what do you want to do to this place when you buy it?" Lexa asks. Clarke sits back and brings her index and middle finger up to the dimple in her chin. She begins drumming them as she looks around the place. 

"I want to restore as much as possible. Still have a lot of modern stuff though in the house. I definitely want a porch that wraps around the entire thing. Maybe an art studio in like a shed out back or something." She turns towards Lexa and sees her fighting a laugh, "What?"

"I feel like we're in The Notebook or something." Lexa laughs out. Clarke scoffs.

"We're a much better couple than those two..." Clarke then realizes what she said and goes wide eyed. Lexa also raises her eyebrows, her laugh dying down a little. She doesn't comment on it though and begins just looking around the house. Her heart is thumping out of her chest at Clarke's implication. She didn't think Clarke wanted to be intimate anymore. Although technically it was Lexa who set the boundaries. Realization hits her full force and she figures out that Clarke probably does want an intimate relationship with her. She just hasn't pushed it because Lexa set the rules. Lexa's eyes snap over to Clarke who has her eyes down and is playing with the blanket with her hands. Lexa watches her. Her beautiful milky skin and how it glows in the candlelight. Her perfect beauty mark on her top lip, like a black and white movie star. Her wavy blonde hair cascading down one shoulder. Her long eyelashes catching the candlelight just right. The dimple in her chin.

Lexa knows exactly what makes her sit up straighter. She knows exactly what makes her move forward towards Clarke. She knows exactly what makes her raise Clarke's head with her hand. She knows exactly what makes her move a strand of her hair away from her face. She knows exactly what makes her take her pink lips in-between her own. She knows exactly what makes her hold the back of Clarke's head as their tongues meet. She knows exactly what makes her lay down on top of her. She knows exactly what makes her take off her clothes. She knows exactly what makes her turn Clarke into a sweating panting mess. She knows exactly what makes her whisper something important in the blonde's ear as the sun comes up through the cracked and jagged windows.

It's love.


	5. D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> daz·zle  
> ˈdazəl/  
> verb  
> amaze or overwhelm (someone) with a particular impressive quality.

Lexa stares at herself in the mirror of her closet door. This morning is a huge morning for her. A life changing morning. In about thirty minutes, Jake Griffin was due to pick her up and drive twenty minutes into the city of Polis. She would then walk into a tall building and go up towards the top floor where a bunch of men in suits will be waiting for her. She would then spend however many minutes pitching her company and product and they would decide if they want to invest. Lexa takes in a deep breath and continues to stare at her appearance. She decided to leave her hair down, she's wearing a white button up tucked into a black pencil skirt. She doesn't have too much make up on, but enough to bring out the green in her eyes. She frowns at the blazer folded over her kitchen chair, trying to decide if she should wear it or not. She hears shifting in her bed by the window of her studio. She looks over and smiles at the occupant in her bed.

The sheets are pooled down on the girls waist. She's sleeping on her stomach, her face turned towards where Lexa is standing. The morning light makes her blonde curls shimmer, her milky white skin also shining. Her breaths are even and Lexa spots the purple bruise she had left last night on the underside of her jaw. Lexa looks down at her watch and makes her way over to the girl. She quietly sits on the edge of the bed and begins brushing the blonde curls away from her face. She doesn't stir though. Lexa moves up further towards her head. She leans down and begins placing feather light kisses on the girls neck, back, and jaw. She starts to hear mumbling and knows she's coming out of her deep sleep.

"Clarke. You gotta get up." Lexa whispers in Clarke's ear. Clarke whines and turns over to face away from Lexa. Lexa chuckles and pushes Clarke over to the other side of the bed so Lexa can lay down for a moment. Clarke keeps her back to Lexa and her breaths start evening out once more. Lexa reaches her hand up and begins tracing her fingers down Clarke's smooth back. She then scoots over and begins placing languid kisses down her spine and Clarke visibly shivers. "Get up." Lexa murmurs once more into her skin. Clarke finally shifts and turns around, sleepy blue eyes opened and glaring at Lexa.

"It's early, I don't have to hit the road until later." Clarke mumbles. Lexa gives her a crooked smile and brings her hand up to brush and play with Clarke's hair.

"Your dad is on his way here to take me into Polis. I don't think he will appreciate the fact that you're not only naked in my bed but also didn't tell him and your mom you've been here all weekend. No matter how much they like me." Lexa replies, still playing with Clarke's hair. Clarke gives her a sleepy grin and moves closer to Lexa to place a kiss on her lips. It's slow and sweet and when they pull away Clarke has nothing but admiration and love in her eyes.

"You're gonna do so great. I'm so proud of you. My girlfriend is a mountain mover." Clarke beams. Lexa just shakes her head and moves to capture Clarke's lips again. They are then startled by a loud knock on the door. Clarke squeaks a little and Lexa shoot up from the bed. Clarke begins covering herself with the sheet as Lexa leans down from the foot of the bed to grab the duvet. She throws it over Clarke, "Don't move and be quiet." Lexa whispers to Clarke. She sees the duvet move in a nodding motion where Clarke's head is then goes still. Lexa rushes to the door and is greeted by a beaming Jake.

"You ready kid? I know it's early I just figured we could get a coffee in the city before the dog and pony show." Jake says, moving past Lexa and entering her studio apartment. He looks around and Lexa feels like she might pass out. He turns around and cocks an eyebrow up at Lexa, _oh god he spotted her_. Lexa starts to open her mouth but he cuts her off.

"Geez Lex, your apartment looks like a mad scientists. You need a better organizing system." Jake comments, Lexa breathes a sigh of relief and moves from the door to her blazer hanging over her kitchen chair. She grabs it and begins rolling up the sleeves of her button down before throwing on the blazer and rolling the sleeves of it slightly. She then searches for her cheap black pumps.

"Yeah I know. But it's the only system I have right now until I can get a bigger place." Lexa replies bending down towards the bed to see if her pumps are under the frame. She actively avoids looking at the still body under the covers. She finds them and brings them out and walks over to her kitchen chair to sit and put on the heels.

"You know our offer still stands. Move in with us until everything launches. I have a feeling you're going to be swimming in money in a few months when you launch. Besides, Abby worries about you living here, it'd give her some peace of mind." Jake shifts from one foot to the other watching Lexa putting on her heels. Lexa gets them on and stands, smoothing out the pencil skirt and running a hand through her hair.

"I think it has more to do with you guys being slight empty nesters for most of the year. Like you said, if things go right this morning, i'll be able to leave this apartment in a few months. No reason to drag my stuff across town just to haul it out a few months later." Lexa shrugs and picks up her second hand briefcase filled with her typed business plan and financials. "Ready?" Lexa asks. Jake nods and the two start heading towards the still opened door. Lexa and Jake walk side by side and out the door until Jake leans his head back into Lexa's apartment before closing the door.

"Also, Clarke it might be a good idea to get dressed and go see your mom before you go back to school." Jake calls out into the apartment. Lexa stops in the hallway and turns beet red, certain Jake will be feeding her to the sharks. Lexa peeks into the apartment and watches Clarke stick her hand out of the covers and giving her dad a thumbs up. He chuckles and turns to look at a blushing Lexa. He continues to laugh and shake his head while walking down the hallway. Lexa peaks her head into her apartment before closing the door.

"Good luck with your mom. If I don't see you before you go back to school, i'll call you tonight and tell you about the meeting. Love you." Lexa calls out, still a little embarrassed. Clarke's head pops out from underneath the covers and she's beet red as well.

"I love you too. Knock em' dead." Clarke grins. Lexa gives her a wink and shuts the door to her apartment, locking it up for Clarke knowing she probably wasn't getting out of bed for at least another hour or so. Lexa walks down the hallway and down the stairs until she's at ground level. She tries to cool her face down from her blush as Jake sits in his car waiting for Lexa. Lexa enters the passenger seat as Jake gives her a sly grin. Lexa just rolls her eyes and looks out the window ignoring his snickering. Lexa reaches over and turns on the radio and lets it drift through the air as she rehearses her pitch in her head. The only sign of her nervousness is the constant chewing of her bottom lip. She's put up her stoicism and looks as if she is ready for war. Next to her, Jake is the epitome of cool and collected. He's drumming a beat on the steering wheel, and mouthing the lyrics to come classic rock song. Not a care in the world. 

They pull up to a café about a block from the building they were meeting the potential investors. Lexa had only been to Polis once, her twentieth birthday this past July. She honestly didn't really care for the city, even if it was only twenty minutes away from her hometown. Something about the stuffy air and constant moving bothered her. It's like the city was cold and detached. Lexa and Jake walk in silence to the café, Jake recognizing that Lexa was far away into her own head. He holds the door open for the brunette as she makes her way inside. She zones out even more as Jake orders them both coffee. She robotically makes her way with him to sit down and continues to stare off into space. Jake finally puts a hand on her forearm, attempting to get her out of her head.

"You're going to be fine. It's going to work out." Jake reassure. Lexa furrows her brow and looks down at her cup of coffee. She studies the tiny steam wafting up and disappearing into the air. She's silently panicking. This meeting could make or break everything. Lexa looks up and meets Jake's eyes. She gives him a tight lipped smile and brings up the cup of coffee to her lips. Jake reaches out his hand to cover Lexa's after she sets her coffee down. "It'll be fine, kid. You got this." Jake lowers his voice, eyes never leaving Lexa's. Lexa nods and takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

They leave the coffee shop and begin walking towards the tall building. Jake is carrying the final prototype while Lexa carries her briefcase. They make it up to the top floor and wait outside the door where the investors are waiting. They sit in chairs waiting to be called, Lexa keeping her posture stiff and staring straight ahead. She knows now is the time to put on her stone mask. Now is the time to reach into her memory bank and do what she use to do to case workers. Put up the shield so they can't intimidate her. She is ultimately in charge and she will make sure she has control of this situation. Her name is called and she stands, grabbing the prototype from Jake as he gives her a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder. She walks through the door of the meeting room. There's five men and one woman, all in perfectly pressed suits and staring at her smugly. 

Lexa introduces herself, shaking all their hands with a firm grip. She begins setting up and handing her copies of her business plan and financial plan to each member. She then launches into her spiel she's done so many times. She hits every point flawlessly. She outlines the effects this would have on the environment. She talks about what she needs in order to completely launch in a couple months. She then demonstrates the device and all the members lean back in their chairs, impressed. She then pulls up graphs of potential growth. They all stare at her in awe as she starts to taper off. Lexa then asks if they have any questions.

There's silence for a moment. One of the men, named Mr. Callahan is studying a file intently and Lexa knows he'll be the first to question her. 

"How old are you again?" Mr. Callahan looks up and asks Lexa. Lexa squares her shoulders, she knew this was going to be the biggest obstacle for her.

"I just turned 20 back in July." Lexa replies easily. Some of the other potential investors eyes widen but they don't say anything. Mr. Callahan nods his head and glances back down at the file. She starts to feel like she's back in Mr. Kane's office as he stares at her delinquent file. 

"So you're 20 years old and have already established a serious line of credit? Can you explain that to me?" Mr. Callahan questions. Lexa nods and laces her fingers behind her back. Straightening her posture even more.

"I grew up in the foster care system. When I turned eighteen I was not allowed in my group home anymore so I got an apartment i'm still living in. I have a vehicle I make payments on. A cell phone, utility bills. Normal adult stuff. That's why I have so much credit built up at such a young age." Lexa says evenly. Some of the investors purse their lips and Lexa thinks she may have lost some of them with that. A moment of silence passes as Mr. Callahan continues looking down at this file. No one else is asking questions so she just stands, ready to challenge whatever Mr. Callahan is about to throw at her. He finally looks up and his steely gaze stares her down, studying her.

"Your product is incredibly impressive. You have the research to back up all your points and from what i've seen you're incredibly smart. The issue I have here is your age and background. You don't have a business degree, you are living on your own and because of this your focus isn't completely on the project at hand which is natural for a young adult. Your background is unstable, your records show here that you were incredibly smart in school but when it comes to discipline and authority, you lack respect. How are any of us suppose to hand you a large check with a percentage of your company and trust that you will use it towards creating the company you have shown today?" Mr. Callahan questions. Lexa swallows, not really expecting them to have a file from when she was in High School. It makes sense though, she's incredibly young and they are multi-millionaires and want to know who the person they could potentially be giving a large amount of their own money to. Lexa collects her thoughts and begins to answer.

"Look, I know i'm young. I know my background isn't the best. But if you put all of that aside, this is a great idea. A potentially earth shattering company could be made here. I've been working on this since I was fourteen. If you think i'm not committed to actually going through with this, I can show you my half-assed crayon drawings from back then. I've been completely committed to this project and future projects within my potential company for over six years now. My commitment to making this happen shouldn't be an issue. As far as my background goes...Listen I can't change where I come from. I can't change my past or anything like that. But I can change where i'm going. I've made some mistakes in school, definitely. But that's part of growing up. Recognizing when you were wrong, and there are many times I was wrong. But that shouldn't deter you from investing in this. This product and company could change the world, wouldn't you want your name attached to something world changing? I've done the research, i've showed you the merits and how much greatness could become of a partnership with me. Just...give me a shot here." Lexa finishes. They are all staring at her, eyes wide at Lexa's speech. Mr. Callahan turns to the group and begins going down the line.

"Mr. Jones, in or out?" Mr. Callahan asks.

"Out." Mr. Jones replies, Lexa swallows. 

"Mrs. Peterson, in or out?" Mr. Callahan asks. She takes a moment and studies Lexa. She then turns back to Mr. Callahan.

"Out." 

"Mr. Brown?"

"Out."

"Mr. Howard?"

"...out." 

"Finally, Mr. Lee?" Mr. Callahan turns to the last person besides himself. Mr. Lee studies Lexa like Mrs. Peterson had done. 

"Out." He chokes out. Lexa's heart sinks as she knows Mr. Callahan is also about to state he's out as well.

"I'm sorry Miss Woods, but it looks like we're all out. I want to stress that this is a great idea. I would love to see you come back here in a few years, you're very smart girl. Go to college, take a few business classes." Mr. Callahan says. Lexa nods her head, but knowing there's no way in hell she's taking his advice. She walks over and shakes all their hands as they get up each and leave the room. Lexa begins packing up her things. She then takes a moment to sit in one of the chairs. She puts her head in her hands, she failed. She's always going to be stuck in her past. She's never going to be able to move forward. She's startled out of her thoughts by someone entering the room. She's positive it's Jake. But when she lifts her head she's met by a large burly man. He has a beard, tattoo on his neck, incredibly tall. His eyes are bright green and he's dressed in a pressed suit. He looks fairly young, not quite Jake and Abby's age. He stares at Lexa, looking almost shocked and amazed.

"I'm sorry, I was just packing up." Lexa cuts through the silence and stands to start gathering up her papers. The man doesn't stop watching her. She gets to the copies she handed the other investors and finally the big tall man speaks. His booming voice echoing through the ruffling of papers.

"Pitch it to me." He states. Lexa turns around with a furrow in her brow. She stares at the man. He then moves over, past Lexa and takes a seat where Mr. Callahan had been. He waits for her patiently. He then holds out his hand, gesturing for Lexa to hand him one of the copies of her business plan and financial plan. Lexa hesitates but hands one over. She then moves over to where her other presentation materials are. She takes a deep breath and figures she has nothing to lose at this point. She launches into the spiel she gave to the investors earlier. The man listens intently, never taking his eyes off Lexa. He doesn't look at the graphs, he doesn't watch the product work. He doesn't look down at the business plan. He just watches her move and speak. Lexa finally finishes and she sort of stands there awkwardly. Wondering what's going to happen next.

"That's pretty much it....Do you-uh- have any questions?" Lexa stammers, her stoicism faltering a little. The man smirks.

"I'm in." He states firmly. Lexa frowns, thinking she might have heard him wrong.

"Wh-What?" Lexa asks. He begins nodding fervently. A smirk still plastered on his face.

"You heard me. I'm in." He states. Lexa's mouth falls agape. Her heart beating incredibly fast. _This has to be a joke right?_  

"I'm sorry, but who are you?" Lexa questions with a cocked eyebrow. She has no idea where this guy came from and has no idea if this guy even has the money to invest in her product and company. He stands up from his seat and makes his way over. He towers over Lexa. His smirk turns into a smile and he holds out his giant hand.

"I'm Gustus. Gustus...uh Gustus Woods..son. Gustus Woodson. I'm an investor here. I don't really invest in products like yours, which is probably why I wasn't apart of your meeting. But I can tell you're passionate about this. You have a strong head on your shoulders and you're incredibly smart. I want to work with you. I'm one of the young ones here as well, we gotta stick together, you and me." He says easily. Lexa smiles, for some reason this huge man who could probably crush her in one fell swoop, puts her at ease. 

"Okay." Lexa states.

"Okay." He smiles.

//

It turns out Gustus is completely legit. He usually invests in inventions for car vehicles. He's very young compared to everyone in his investor group at 36 years old. He comes from old money and invented a standard for seat warmers in cars. That's what got him on the board. Him and Lexa work together, sometimes with Jake, to get her product and company launched. After a couple setbacks they are officially launched after four months. Her product is bought up by disaster groups, by environmentalist, and loads of other people. It's a success. She gets many offers from big corporations for her to sell to them but she refuses, taking Jake's advice to not sell out to the man. Gustus disagrees, the two men constantly arguing with one another about it. When Lexa gets her first payout not going towards the company of over $350,000.00 she pays Jake back every cent he put in. He refuses to accept it at first but Lexa insists. She has roughly over $100,000.00 leftover after Jake reluctantly accepts her check.

Clarke and Lexa have never been stronger. Clarke's Sophomore year of college coming to a close meant her coming back home for the summer. Clarke invites Lexa to Arkadia for a long weekend, but neglects to tell her that she would be throwing a party with her former High School friends. Friends who haven't really taken to Lexa, besides Monty and somewhat Octavia. Everyone else she has tried avoiding if she could. Lexa lays on Clarke's dorm room bed, fidgeting with her phone. Clarke is fixing herself up in the mirror before they head out to Bellamy Blake's apartment off campus.

"I'm pretty comfortable laying here. You can just go and i'll wait up for you." Lexa continues staring at her phone, not looking at Clarke's reaction. She does hear her audibly sigh.

"Don't do that. Listen, we've been together way over a year now. Everyone knows this and they don't care. I told them all to make an effort but I need you to meet them halfway as well." Clarke states, Lexa chances a glance and watches Clarke putting on her mascara, not looking at Lexa. Lexa rolls her eyes and sighs. 

"They don't like me. I don't like most of them. Growing up they've done nothing but be dicks to me, i'm just suppose to forget all about the horrible shit they've done for one night?" Lexa questions, cocking an eyebrow at Clarke. Clarke turns around to meet Lexa's eyes and she softens her gaze. Clarke sets the mascara tube down and makes her way over to Lexa. She then lays on top of Lexa as Lexa looks away from Clarke. Clarke moves her hands to Lexa's cheeks and forces her to turn her head to meet her eyes. 

"Look at me." Clarke whispers. Lexa reluctantly looks at bright blue eyes. Clarke's eyes hold sympathy and remorse in them. She then leans down and places a long chaste kiss on Lexa's lips. She then pulls back and looks back into Lexa's eyes. "We've all done shit things. They did shit things. I did shit things. You did shit things. But I like to think we've grown from that. They've grown from that. I have to believe that. But I promise you, if they are not welcoming towards you, if they say anything to you, we'll leave. I love you, and I don't want you uncomfortable. But you have to promise me that you're going to give them all a chance, be welcoming towards them. They've only seen you from the outside looking in. They haven't had a chance to see you clearly like myself, Monty, and even Octavia have seen. Be a little more open towards them and they'll love you just like I do." Clarke smiles. Lexa sighs and finally wraps her arms around Clarke's back and places a kiss to Clarke's forehead. Clarke lays her head on Lexa's chest as she reaches up and plays with Clarke's hair.

"Fine. But only because I kind of like having you around. Plus Rae will be there, so I guess I'll have one person on my side." Lexa smirks. Clarke doesn't lift her head up but smacks Lexa's arm as Lexa begins to chuckle, making Clarke's body shake.

"I'm on your side dummy!" Clarke exclaims. Lexa continues laughing while stroking blonde hair.

"I know I know. I'm just being an asshole." Lexa laughs. 

"Well at least you admit it." Clarke says, it's Lexa's turn to playfully smack Clarke. Clarke begins giggling and Lexa flips them over so she's laying on Clarke now, holding her arms above her head. Clarke gives her a mischievous grin. Lexa then leans down and captures Clarke's lips. The two move together with open-mouth kissing until Clarke slips her tongue into Lexa's mouth. Their tongues begin dancing and massaging against one another, Lexa feels a vibration from a moan escaping Clarke's mouth. Lexa shifts above Clarke to place her thigh in-between Clarke's legs, never parting from her lips. Clarke begins moaning more frequently, grinding down for some friction. Lexa methodically moves her hands underneath Clarke's blouse, stopping before the swell of her breasts purposefully. Clarke whines into Lexa's mouth at Lexa stopping her movements. Lexa smirks against Clarke's mouth and then slowly makes her way underneath Clarke's bra. She begins massaging her breast, taking her already erect nipple in-between her index and middle finger, rolling it. Lexa stops kissing Clarke's lips and moves to the side of her neck.

She kisses and sucks on Clarke's pulse point. Clarke gasps and continues to grind on Lexa's thigh, her movements starting to become sloppy as she comes closer to reaching her high. Her moans become louder and louder as she approaches, Lexa herself feeling warmth spreading to her lower abdomen as Clarke moans her name in her raspy breathy tone.

"Time to go! OH! My eyes!" Raven yells from Clarke's dorm room doorway. Lexa doesn't remove her hand from underneath Clarke's blouse and just slowly looks over towards the now open door. Raven has a hand over her eyes and her back turned. Lexa looks down at Clarke who is blushing furiously, not meeting Lexa's eyes. Lexa chuckles and shakes her head, sitting up on the bed as Clarke does the same. Clarke begins smoothing out her blouse and wiping her lips.

"You can turn around now." Lexa calls out. Raven slowly turns around, her hand still covering her eyes. She then spreads her fingers to peek through them and finally drops her hand. A permanent smirk plastered on her face. She looks between both Clarke and Lexa. Clarke is still blushing while Lexa just leans back, challenging Raven to say anything about what she just saw. "So...getting some before the lion's den huh?" Raven finally says. Clarke groans while Lexa chuckles and shakes her head. Lexa pops up off the bed and grabs her leather jacket. Clarke gets up and smooths her hair in the mirror and fixes her lipstick before heading towards the door where Lexa and Raven are having a silent conversation with their eyes. When Clarke approaches them by the doorway, Lexa breaks her eye contact with Raven and gives Clarke a kiss on the cheek before lacing their fingers together. Clarke brings their conjoined hands up and places a kiss on the back of Lexa's hand.

The three make their way across campus, walking through the courtyards and in-between buildings. Raven and Lexa talk about Lexa's business and what she's working on next. Clarke watches  with adoring eyes at the lifelong best friends. Lexa occasionally meeting Clarke's eyes and giving her a small smile meant only for her. Clarke joins in with different comments, making both Raven and Lexa bark in laughter. Lexa wishes the three of them could just walk around campus for the rest of the night like this. But she knows she needs to start making an effort with Clarke's friends. But it's hard when they've done nothing but look down on both her and Raven all their lives. She looks at some of them and has flashes of when Jasper smacked her in the face with a stick in the sixth grade. When Bellamy got mad at Lexa pointing out his incompetence in the seventh grade and he threw a rock at her head. When Nathan outed her in eighth grade because she found out he was gay but had made it clear she wasn't going to tell anyone, but he didn't trust her. Then there's Finn. But Clarke has reassured Lexa that he wasn't going to be there, and that she doesn't see or speak to him anymore. 

They make it to the apartment and can hear light music playing and laughter from outside the door. Lexa can tell Raven is also nervous. She uses her free arm to wrap around her shoulders, giving her a tight squeeze. Raven looks over and gives Lexa a wink and Clarke finally knocks on the door. Bellamy answers with a thousand watt smile and gestures for them to enter. Everyone is in different corners, drinking and talking amongst themselves. Octavia, Harper, and Zoe having a very tipsy animated conversation in the living room. Jasper and Monty mixing drinks in the kitchen. Nathan and some other people Lexa doesn't know talking together on the couch. She feels Clarke squeeze her hand then let go, making her way over to Octavia. Lexa looks at Raven and the two share a look and decide to stick together for the night.

"So you're like a self made millionaire now, right?" Bellamy questions Lexa. Lexa sips from her red solo cup and shakes her head. Most of the group has gathered around the living room, making conversation. Raven is sitting on Lexa's left while Clarke sits on her right, her hand resting on Lexa's thigh in a comforting manner. Occasionally rubbing it. 

"No. Not yet. I mean if I didn't have to pay back loans and use most of the money to fund my business, then yeah, i'd probably have a lot of money. But you put a lot of money into a product and business, usually the first wave of it is used to pay back your debts and sustaining your company. Not much really goes to you personally at the beginning." Lexa replies, Bellamy smiles genuinely and nods his head.

"That's pretty cool though. Clarke showed me an article that was written about you in an environmentalist magazine. It's a pretty cool thing you invented." Bellamy says. Lexa gives him a smile and nods her head.

"Thank you." Lexa brings her cup to her lips and looks over at Clarke who smiles at her, happy that her and Bellamy are actually getting along. Throughout the night, Lexa and Bellamy have been talking about different topics. Bellamy surprisingly knows quite a bit about history and the two got into a nice discussion about the fall of the Roman Empire in the kitchen. Lexa has decided that he's not so bad, he's obviously grown from his days of throwing rocks at girls heads who insult his intelligence. 

"I honestly didn't think you'd succeed so much after High School. I mean..." Jasper starts, Clarke throws a glare at him as he begins to stammer and backtrack. "Not like because your dumb or anything. You're probably the smartest in this room...just you got in trouble a lot-and-well I- I mean...i'm just going to shut up." Jasper finally sinks into the chair he's sitting on. Lexa can't help but laugh. He's a long way from the boy who slashed her with a stick. 

"It's fine. Yeah no, i'm sure a lot of people are surprised. I'm surprised too, I guess in some ways." Lexa says. Jasper visibly relaxes and nods. Clarke begins rubbing a pattern on Lexa's thigh, comforting her rising anxiety over the past and how she felt about her future back then. 

"Yeah well, I always thought you were going to skip outta town. Make a few million and never look back." Raven says, giving Lexa a reassuring smile. Lexa grins and shakes her head.

"You have to say that cause we're best friends." Lexa tells her. Raven shrugs.

"Doesn't mean it isn't true, killer." Raven winks. Lexa rolls her eyes. 

"So what are you working on next?" Bellamy asks, leaning forward in his chair, looking genuinely interested. Lexa opens her mouth to speak but then the front door swings open. Startling most of the group. Lexa watches Bellamy's eyes widen when he looks to the door, looking a little shocked.

"I brought some more pizza!" Finn fucking Collins announces to the group. Lexa feels Raven tense next to her as some people eye Finn and others eye both Raven and Lexa. Bellamy stands and moves over to Finn.

"What are you doing here?" Bellamy questions, his jaw tightening. Finn furrows his brow and begins looking around the room, his eyes find both Lexa and Raven and he turns back to Bellamy.

"Well-uh- well Jasper said we needed more pizza and told me to get some on my way over." Finn stammers a little. Lexa turns away and looks at Raven who is clenching her jaw as her eyes begin to well up. Lexa then looks over at Jasper who has turned ghost white as more eyes look over to him. Lexa clenches her own jaw and begins flexing her fingers. She looks over at Clarke who has also paled a little and just staring at Finn and Bellamy in the doorway. 

Lexa looks back over at Raven and can tell she's ready to go. Lexa puts her hand on her leg to make her look up to Lexa. Raven slowly meets Lexa's eyes and Lexa murmurs, "You wanna get out of here?" just loud enough for them to hear. Raven nods slowly but before they can move, Lexa is stopped when she hears the next words come out of Finn's mouth.

"Thank god you're here Clarke. I was looking for you after class, I needed the notes for our last lecture I missed." Lexa slowly turns her head to where Clarke is actively avoiding her eyes. Lexa clenches her jaw. She finally meets her eyes and starts to open her mouth but Lexa lets out a huff of sarcastic laughter towards her and Clarke flinches.

"Don't see or speak to him anymore, huh?" Lexa says. Clarke opens her mouth again but Lexa stands up and grabs Raven. Raven follows even with Bellamy calling out to them to not leave. Clarke chases after them as well. The two make it to a courtyard until Raven begins having a panic attack. Clarke catches up to them, begging Lexa to listen to her.

"Lex, whatever you're thinking right now isn't at all what it is!" Clarke yells out. Lexa ignores her and she tries to calm Raven down. Clarke doesn't seem to notice Raven is having a panic attack and continues trying to get Lexa to speak with her.

"You're alright. You're safe. I'm right here, Rae. Listen to my voice." Lexa whispers to Raven.

"Lex! I swear on everything it's not what it is!" Clarke yells out. Finally Lexa snaps and turns around from where she's holding Raven's shoulders steady. She turns to Clarke and glares.

"Go away Clarke! Can't you see my best friend is having trouble breathing because the man who tried to assault her showed up out of nowhere! A man you lied about having no contact with! Go back to Bellamy's now! I'm done." Lexa yells. Clarke's eyes widen and she looks over Lexa's shoulders and sees Raven breathing hard but starting to calm down. Clarke tries to step towards Raven but she holds her hand up to stop Clarke.

"No Clarke. Just...it's almost passed." Raven says, trying to control her own breathing. Lexa turns around and rubs her hands up and down Raven's arms, trying to calm her. After a few minutes Raven is calm and exhausted. "I'm going to head to my dorm, sleep it off." 

"I'll come with you." Lexa states, Raven shakes her head.

"No it's fine. I want to be alone. I'll text you later, Lex." Raven says, she glances over at Clarke and gives her a little wave. Raven jogs away towards her dormitory. Lexa clenches her jaw and realizes she's alone with Clarke once more. She feels Clarke place her hand on Lexa's forearm but Lexa shrugs her off.

"Just stop Clarke! Nothing you do or say will get you out of this." Lexa spits. Clarke frowns and Lexa turns on her heel and starts walking towards Clarke's dorm, Clarke following behind her. She flings open the lobby door and walks up three flights of stairs until she's on Clarke's floor. She makes it to her room number and opens the door. She stuffs some of her clothes that are still laying on the ground from the previous night, into her backpack. Clarke enters the doorway.

"What are you doing?" Clarke questions, the quiver in her voice evident. Lexa doesn't look at her as she zips up her backpack.

"I'm leaving." Lexa states. Clarke steps further into the room.

"No. No you're not leaving! We need to talk about this. You need to let me explain. That's how this works!" Clarke pleads. Lexa shakes her head and grabs her motorcycle helmet. She slings her backpack over her shoulder and finally meets Clarke's eyes. Her bright blue eyes are crying and she looks terrified. 

"Bye Clarke." Lexa grits out. She pushes past Clarke and into the hallway. She walks fast out of the dormitory towards the parking lot where her bike is. Clarke is running after her. Lexa makes it to her bike and moves to put her helmet on and straddle it. Clarke stands in front of her bike.

"So that's it?! You're just going to walk away?! Don't walk away from me Lexa!" Clarke yells sternly. Lexa never takes her eyes off Clarke as she starts her bike and begins moving in reverse. She finally turns and drives away, never looking back at Clarke in her side mirror.

//

She makes it back to her apartment at nearly one a.m. She drops her backpack down angrily and tosses her helmet onto her kitchen counter. She pulls out her phone to let Raven know she had left campus and was at home now. She sees she has missed calls from Clarke, Jake, Monty, and surprisingly Octavia. She turns off her phone, deciding when things cooled down she'd let Raven know she wasn't there anymore. She's confused why Clarke would lie to her in the first place. She knows how much it takes for Lexa to trust people and yet she decided to risk it, for Finn Collins of all people. 

Lexa begins rooting around her cabinets, looking for her bottle of whiskey. She finds it stashed in a bottom cabinet near the sink and thanks whatever higher being for it being nearly a full bottle. She moves over to her mattress and begins drinking from the bottle. Her mind begins replaying everything that happened that evening. It then goes back to when Raven was crying in the bathroom in High School. It goes back to when Clarke had whispered to her that she didn't do anything wrong. Those words from Clarke's voice continue to filter through her mind. Lexa feels the alcohol start to cloud her head. Her apartment door then swings open, startling Lexa.

Her girlfriend is standing in her doorway, angry and teary. She's frowning and she walks into Lexa's studio apartment, slamming the door shut. Lexa looks over at the clock on her nightstand and realizes she's been home for about thirty minutes, Clarke must have been hot on her tail. Clarke runs a hand through her hair and Lexa just stares at her.

"You can't do that. You hear me? You can't do that!" Clarke yells. Lexa shakes her head. She knows where this conversation is leading. It'll lead to a fight, and they'll for real break up. She doesn't want that. No matter how angry she is at Clarke and the situation, she doesn't want to break up with her. She doesn't want to lose her ever. But she knows if she engages that is what will happen.

"I hadn't seen or talked to him! He was in my class this semester and it was the first time i'd seen him since graduation! I don't even sit next to him or talk to him!" Clarke yells out, tears still slipping down her cheeks. Lexa sighs and sets her bottle of whiskey on the nightstand. She stands up and moves towards Clarke still standing near the entrance to her apartment. She wraps her up in her arms as Clarke buries her face in Lexa's neck, sobbing and hiccuping. "I love you, I promise i'm not friends with him. I hate what he did to Rae. I love you." Clarke hiccups into her neck. Lexa doesn't say anything, just begins rubbing Clarke's back, attempting to soothe her. When Clarke calms down Lexa pulls away from the hug.

Clarke's eyes are red rimmed and still teary. Her nose stuffed. Lexa begins wiping her remaining tears then places a kiss on her forehead. Clarke begins to open her mouth to say more things to Lexa but she pulls her in for a kiss instead. Lexa slips her tongue into Clarke's mouth, hoping this will make Clarke and her not fight anymore. It starts to work, as Clarke begins massaging Lexa's tongue with her own. Lexa backs her up into her door and the two begin kissing frantically. Lexa pulls up Clarke's shirt quickly and throws it to the floor as she attaches her lips to her neck. Clarke moans and bucks her hips into Lexa's.

"We-we, we need to talk this out, babe." Clarke says breathily. Lexa shakes her head and moves back to Clarke's lips. She then hoists Clarke up and Clarke wraps her legs around Lexa's waist. Lexa carries her to her mattress and the two plop down in one fluid motion, their lips never leaving one another.

The two stay tangled and have sex for most of the night. They never talk about it afterwards. They never talk about how Lexa felt betrayed in that moment when Finn arrived. They never talk about Lexa refusing to listen to Clarke's side of things and just leaving. They don't talk about it. They move forward and almost pretend like that evening with Clarke's friends never happened. A habit had formed that night. A bad habit. A vicious cycle of never talking through their feelings. A habit that will come back to bite them...


	6. E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> en·chant·ment  
> inˈCHantmənt,enˈCHantmənt/  
> noun  
> a feeling of great pleasure; delight.

"I miss you." 

"I miss you too." Lexa replies easily into the phone attached to her ear. She hops up onto her new kitchen counter top and looks around at all the moving boxes. The house is small. Only one floor and one bedroom, one bathroom. She has a full kitchen though and separate living room as well as a tiny room to store all her 'mad scientist files' as Clarke likes to say. Lexa had finally moved out of her studio apartment after a huge drug bust happened to the neighbors upstairs. Abby had threatened that if Lexa didn't go search for a new place that she'd burn the complex down. Lexa was able to find this tiny home for cheap. It's closer to the Griffin's home and is located in a pretty decent neighborhood. She didn't want to buy a massive house after getting another big payout after Oceanic Preservation Society endorsed her product for disaster relief and fighting pollution. Her wealth had begun to climb considerably. She decided to store most of her own money in savings, but she did splurge a little. After going to the court house and bank, she was able to purchase the property Clarke had taken her to almost two years ago. She had decided to purchase it under a pseudonym, wanting to surprise Clarke with the home once she had finished renovating it herself. She hadn't started work on it, but she was due to begin in about a week.

"The pictures you sent me looked good. I can't wait to have some privacy when I come home. Did you get my things from mom and dad?" Clarke asks. Clarke had been offered a huge opportunity to go to Boston to intern at a medical office. She had started to decline, wanting to spend the summer with Lexa, but Lexa insisted. Reminding Clarke how good it'd look on her medical school application having been offered an internship before entering her Junior year of college. Clarke accepted it but it meant she'd be nearly six hours away from Lexa and her parents. Lexa had decided to ease her home sickness in telling her she'd move her things from home into the house, effectively moving in with each other whenever Clarke isn't at school.

"Yup. Everything is here. I got most of your stuff unpacked in the bedroom. Tell me about your day." Lexa says with a smile, loving when Clarke rambles about her day. She hops off the counter and begins to go through some boxes as Clarke sighs into the other end of the phone.

"It was fine. Lots of charting and taking blood pressure and people's weight. I know this is part of the whole doctor thing but i'd much rather be cutting someone open as harsh as that sounds." Clarke says. Lexa chuckles and shakes her head.

"I think I should be calling you the mad scientist of this relationship. You'd become Dr. Frankenstein if i'd let you." Lexa replies. Clarke laughs and Lexa feels her heart burst with pride and warmth. She misses her, but knows how great of an opportunity being in Boston is for her. A moment of comfortable silence passes them as they just listen to the other breathing. Lexa decides to breach a subject that has been sore between them. "Did you visit Harvard yet?" Lexa asks nonchalantly. Clarke sighs even louder than before.

"Yeah...it was alright." Clarke states with less enthusiasm. Lexa stops her ministrations with the boxes and tenses.

"Clarke, Harvard isn't just 'alright', it's freaking Harvard, babe. You go there for medical school and you'll be able to work at any hospital you want." Lexa tries.

"Yeah I get that, but...it doesn't have you." Clarke murmurs. Lexa sighs then. She stands up straight and looks at a picture of the two of them at the fair on the fridge. Clarke is kissing her cheek as Lexa pulls a funny face. Lexa smiles and softens her determination to get Clarke to see what a great opportunity it'd be.

"You don't need to worry about me. Or about us. We've been doing long distance practically our entire relationship so far, it'd be fine. I shouldn't be a determining factor in that decision." Lexa says softly. There's a moment of silence and Lexa thinks maybe Clarke hung up but she then begins to speak.

"You are a determining factor though. You're my girlfriend and I don't know about you but i'm in this for the long haul. So you're absolutely a determining factor. I hate when you do that. The way you always lessen yourself in my life. You're so important to me and my life and I always wanna be where you are." Clarke finishes. Lexa feels her heart ache as she can tell by Clarke's voice she's getting upset once more. 

"I just...i'd hate for you to resent me because you made a decision to go somewhere else rather than your dream school." Lexa reasons. Clarke scoffs.

"It's not my dream school, Lex. It's my mom's dream school. She went there and became a surgeon and she just wants me to continue the legacy. I'd much rather go to Polis where my dad went. I hate it here. I'm so lonely Lexa." Clarke's voice cracks at the end and Lexa feels her heart start to as well.

"I thought you were going out more with your coworkers?" Lexa questions, having gotten text messages from Clarke saying she'd be out to dinner with her coworkers. She hears a tiny sob on the other end and wishes she could just wrap her up.

"I lied. I've just been sitting in my shitty apartment every night crying cause I miss you and I miss O and Rae and my parents. I can't do four years of this, i'm so so lonely. I'm not cut out for this city. And I know it's going to disappoint my mom but I just can't." Clarke cries. Lexa leans against the counter top and rests the back of her head on one of the cabinets. She listens to Clarke crying and feels so terrible that she's lonely and hurting.

"No one will be disappointed in you. No one could ever be disappointed in you. If you really don't want to go there then don't. No one is going to force you. But for right now, you gotta finish up your internship. You only have six more weeks then you'll be home with me for a couple weeks before you go back to school. You know at night if you're sad you can call me." Lexa states, listening as Clarke's cries taper off. She hears a sniff.

"I know. I will. God, six more weeks. That feels so far away." Clarke groans. Lexa smiles, knowing Clarke was probably less upset now. She starts shuffling through more boxes and putting things away when Clarke speaks again, "On top of this terrible week, someone bought my dream home. They're probably going to tear it down and build a bunch of businesses on that land and pave the road. Stupid." Lexa smirks at that.

"Oh yeah? Or maybe they'll do what you wanted to do and sell it." Lexa tries, not wanting Clarke to sense that Lexa had bought the home. Clarke hums, seemingly getting lost in her thoughts. 

"If they do do that, would you buy it?" Clarke asks. Lexa holds back a laughter at the irony. She begins nodding her head forgetting Clarke isn't in front of her.

"Yeah I would. You know, I figured something out the other day." Lexa states.

"What'd you figure out?" Clarke asks playfully. Lexa smiles and she eyes their photo on the fridge.

"I'm going to marry you someday."

//

Lexa has been working hard on her new invention. It was an inexpensive water filtration system to help bring clean water to third world countries. She had gotten it patented and environmentalist groups have been waiting with bated breath on when it'd be launched. She'd also started work on the old plantation home. Upon further inspection, the home almost had to be completely torn down due to it's foundation. Lexa saved as much as she could, recalling Clarke telling her she'd want to restore as much as possible. She had been able to get the original blue prints at City Hall and planned on doing the lay out the exact same, just on a more sturdy foundation. She had been doing it all herself thus far, thinking maybe it'd have more meaning than if a construction crew came in. She knew it'd probably take her a couple years but she figures the look on Clarke's face will more than make up for it.

Lexa sits in the stuffy office in Polis where her headquarters have been set up. Gustus is suppose to meet her to go over a launch plan for her next product. Lexa and Gustus have been working quite well together since he invested in her company. Although he has not much experience with her brand, he knows how to navigate the business world. The biggest division they have is about Jake's role in the company. Jake and Gustus haven't really gotten on well, butting heads everywhere they turn. Lexa thinks it might be more personal than they let on, and possibly jealousy on Jake's part that she's been bonding with Gustus a lot more these days. Lexa begins spinning around in her rolling chair, waiting for the big burly man. She stops when she hears someone clear their throat. She looks over to the doorway and sees Gustus in one of his suits, leaning against the doorjamb, smiling at Lexa's antics.

"One of these days you're going to make yourself sick doing that." Gustus grins. Lexa winks back at him.

"You sound like Jake. Being all fatherly and stuff." Lexa comments. Gustus swallows hard at that and Lexa watches his grin slightly fade a little. She figures to him it's an insult to be compared to Jake Griffin. "Relax Gus, he isn't as bad as you think." Lexa jokes. He grins once more and rolls his eyes as he makes his way into the office. He takes a seat in front of Lexa and shakes his head.

"You know one of these days you need to come to the office looking at least semi-professional. T-shirt, shorts and flip flops are not what i'd consider business casual." He smirks. Lexa gives him a thousand watt smile and looks down at her attire then back at him. 

"I don't know, I think I look pretty professional." Lexa deadpans. Gustus barks out a laugh and continues to shake his head. The two then move on from jokes and get down to business. They outline their timeline for launching, cost of materials and production. They argue about potentially selling the product eventually to a big corporation, Lexa still in the mind frame of wanting it to be all on her own. At the end, they decide to table that discussion. Gustus begins packing up his things as Lexa stands and stretches out her limbs, having been sitting the entire three hour meeting. She looks out her office window at the bustling city she despises and pulls out her phone.

**Lexa           Now**

_Remind me to never move to the city._

The reply is instant;

**Clarke        Now**

_Haha i'll remind you!_

Lexa smirks and then looks up, feeling Gustus's eyes on her. He gives her a smile.

"Mr. Griffin's daughter?" He asks, already knowing the answer. Lexa nods. He then begins to walk out the door and Lexa begins shuffling some papers to put away so she can head back home. Gustus turns back around and looks hesitant. He then clears his throat, making Lexa look back up to the doorway with raised eyebrows. "This may seem strange, but would it be okay if you and I got some coffee outside the office sometime? I don't really have many people in my life left and I do happen to enjoy your company." Gustus stammers out. Lexa thinks about it. Gustus has never once mentioned having a family, just that his family comes from a long line of inventors. He doesn't wear a wedding ring and has never mentioned having children. They are both one in the same. Just two people without any family members to speak of. She smiles and nods her head.

"Sure I don't mind. It'd be good to actually get to know you personally since you pretty much know everything about me." Lexa quips. Gustus nods and chuckles. He says a quick goodbye and exits the office. Lexa plops back down in her office chair and sighs, taking a moment to go through everything in her head. She then stands and decides to make her hasty exit out of the city before rush hour traffic.

From there her and Gustus get coffee fairly regularly. She learns Gustus has never been married but he did have a girlfriend back when he was a teenager. She had fallen pregnant but unfortunately died after the child was born. From there he said he threw himself into his work. His parents passed when he was twenty five, thus leaving him all their wealth in which he uses to invest in other inventors like Lexa. The money he makes for himself he doesn't use for business opportunities. Lexa confides in Gustus about the home she's rebuilding for Clarke. He offers his assistance and the two begin a different ritual of working together on the house. She spends her twenty first birthday with him, sitting in the middle of a framed house with no roof or walls and being illuminated by the multiple construction lights. He gives her her first Sazeracs, his drink of choice and it'd soon become Lexa's drink of choice. She enjoys Gustus's company, he's quiet much like her and they never feel the need to break the comfortable silence while working. Towards the end of summer, they have most of the foundation rebuilt and have restored key pieces of the old home, although they still have quite a lot of work ahead of them.

//

Lexa sits at the bar, drinking her Sazeracs as Anya discusses her affinity with the West Coast but her reluctance to return to college there. Anya, much like Raven, had been offered a full ride scholarship to attend USC. She had been working on her Political Science degree but has mentioned her declining lack of interest in the subject. This sparks an idea for Lexa as Raven sits on the other side of her, sipping her beer and nodding along to Anya's ramblings. She recalls the promise she had made to Raven about giving her a job when her company became big. Although her company isn't huge, it is still growing into a huge success. She knows it could probably grow even more with the help of Anya and Raven. They could be her right-hand people. 

"So the Professor was like, 'You're distracted and need to get your head out of your ass' and i'm all 'woah, me get my head out of my ass?!-" Anya rambles, Lexa decides to cut her off.

"What if I have a solution to your problem?" Lexa asks. Anya stops talking and looks at Lexa with raised eyebrows, waiting for Lexa to elaborate. Lexa takes a humble sip of her drink and sets the glass down. "You come work side by side with me. Both of you. Anya you could be my C.O.O. while Rae you could help perfect my different ideas with that smart brain of yours. The company is growing more and more each quarter, i'm going to need other people involved soon and who better than the two people I trust most in this world?" Lexa smirks. Anya stares at Lexa in disbelief for a moment then she begins to smirk as well.

"You better not be fucking around with me, Lex. Cause I will seriously do it. I will quit school and come join you if you're serious." Anya says. Raven looks between them, mouth still agape at what Lexa had said.

"I'm dead serious. I need all the help I can get. You're both smart as hell, all three of our brains together, we could probably take over the freaking world." Lexa says, bringing the tumbler of alcohol back up to her lips. Raven finally gets her bearings and speaks.

"I thought Jake Griffin was C.O.O. though?" Lexa swallows the liquid and then shakes her head.

"No. He technically isn't. He just gave me a loan that I paid back already, I just like to go to him with some advice when it comes to the different ideas I have. He's made it clear he doesn't want his name attached to my business because he wants it to be mine." Anya and Raven both nod in understanding, picking up their beers and sipping contemplating Lexa's offer. After a few moments of silence Anya speaks.

"I'll do it. I'm in." Anya says, Lexa slaps her back and pulls her into a side hug. Lexa then turns to Raven.

"I'll join to, but I do have a condition." Raven says pointedly. Lexa waits for her to continue. "I still want to finish my degree, so i'm not going to join right away. Is that alright?" Lexa nods and then also brings Raven into a side hug. Lexa has both her arms around Anya and Raven and is smiling a big goofy grin.

"This is going to be so awesome, let me tell you!" Lexa exclaims. She then feels someone's hands cover her eyes. She yelps in surprise and lets go of both Anya and Raven. She then feels lips she's memorized press onto the back of her neck, she noticeably shivers, having not felt those lips on any part of her skin the entire summer. She whips around on her bar stool and the person in question finally removes her hands from Lexa's eyes. She sees a cheeky blonde, wearing the biggest childish grin known to man. Lexa breaks out into the same goofy grin and hops off the bar stool wrapping her arms around Clarke's waist and lifting her up into a bear hug. She twirls her a little while Clarke laughs like a little kid. Lexa then sets her down and begins peppering her face with kisses.

"I missed you so much! I thought you weren't coming back till tomorrow morning?" Lexa asks in-between kisses. Clarke grabs Lexa's face to place a kiss on her plump lips. They pull back and Clarke meets Lexa's eyes.

"I couldn't wait so I cancelled my flight and just took a cab all the way home earlier this morning. I've missed you way too much to wait any longer." Clarke says. Lexa leans in to capture Clarke's lips once more. As they kiss deeply they hear the clearing of throats. They break apart and find a smirking Anya and Raven watching them. Lexa rolls her eyes at them, already knowing what they are thinking.

"No offense, but you're in public. Try not to devour each other until you get home." Anya says pointedly. Lexa sticks out her tongue as Clarke just buries her head into Lexa's chest, hiding her face. Clarke had admitted to Lexa that Anya scares her even though Lexa has reassured her that Anya actually doesn't mind Clarke at all. Anya had grown to like Clarke after hanging out with her some, her previous notions about her tossed into the wind.

"Griff, how are you even in here? You're not twenty one yet." Raven states. Clarke picks up her head to look at Raven.

"My mom saved the bartenders life a few years ago. Gives me some special privileges, although he'll never actually serve me." Clarke states, Lexa chuckles at her and leans down to place a kiss on the blonde's head. Clarke turns to face Lexa and the two get lost in one another for a moment. It's that moment that Lexa decides it's time for them to head home. 

"Alright guys, we're out of here. Call me tomorrow to discuss semantics of what I offered." Lexa says, both Raven and Anya nod and say their goodbyes to both Clarke and Lexa. Lexa wraps her arm around Clarke's shoulders and pulls her in for a quick kiss on the walk home. The air is still warm and crisp from the lingering summer air.

"Did you like the house?" Lexa asks as they continue making their way down the sidewalk. Clarke hums in response.

"I love it. I love that you hung all my artwork around the house." Clarke smiles at her, Lexa can't help but lean in to kiss her once more.

"I really missed you, Clarke." She murmurs against Clarke's lips.

"I missed you too. But I think you know that. I practically called you everyday crying about how much I missed you." Clarke says. Lexa chuckles and shakes her head, pulling the blond a little closer to her.

The two make it to their little home. Clarke's car is parked behind Lexa's motorcycle. The two walk up the little porch as Lexa unlocks the door. The two step inside and the minute the door is shut and locked up for the night, Clarke is launching herself at Lexa. Lexa kisses Clarke back with vigor. Months of sexual frustration bursting through the surface. Clarke removes Lexa's leather jacket and begins sucking on her pulse point in her neck. Lexa puts her hands on Clarke's hips and begins guiding her backwards towards their now shared bedroom. Clarke accidentally trips over one of her suitcases when entering and the two break their kissing and begin giggling. Lexa pushes the suitcase out of the way and guides Clarke back towards their bed. Clarke sinks down as Lexa moves on top of her. Lexa's hands waste no time in going up underneath Clarke's shirt, palming her covered chest as their tongues massage against one another. Clarke breaks the kiss and sits up to remove her shirt then her bra, leaving her bare. Lexa does the same and the two fall back onto the bed, kissing, sucking, and biting all over each other's skin for hours.

They lay together with the duvet covering them. Lexa is laying on Clarke's chest as Clarke runs her finger's through her brunette hair. They're exhausted but absolutely content. Lexa knows Clarke will be headed back to school in two weeks and feels a sort of emptiness when she thinks about it. They've spent their entire relationship apart most of the time. They've never spent more than three weeks in each other's presence since they've been officially together. Yet they still love one another, are still faithful to one another. Lexa doesn't understand how the hell she got so lucky with Clarke. Any other person would have broken up with her by now, she's sure of it. Lexa begins tracing patterns on Clarke's stomach and feels the goosebumps raise on Clarke's skin at the action. She then feels Clarke's heart rate begin to pick up slightly. Lexa presses a lingering kiss on her chest where her heart is.

"What is it?" Lexa questions, lifting her head up to look at those cerulean eyes. Clarke looks at her with lidded eyes and a lazy smile.

"I just figured something out." Clarke rasps. Lexa smiles and crinkles her forehead slightly.

"What'd you figure out?" Lexa whispers. Clarke raises her hand and begins brushing Lexa's hair out of her face, her lazy smile still plastered on her face. She then searches Lexa's eyes and holds her stare as she speaks.

"I'm going to marry you someday."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. My work has completely flipped my schedule from working in the day to working all night. Unfortunately that calls for me to be working all night and sleeping all day so i'm trying to get my bearings. The next chapter hopefully won't take as long to get out as this one did. 
> 
> Also if you guys have any fluffy moments you'd like to see between them before we get to the super angsty stuff, i'm all for suggestions. I will warn that the super super angsty stuff is coming upon us soon. But remember, these two are freaking endgame so don't worry.


End file.
